Chuck

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DeAnn Welker: A- | Grade It Now!
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Desolation. Frostbite. Must be Russia.

Mopey Chuck and Morgan walk toward the car, which is an old yellow junker. Morgan throws the Imperial Dragons menu on the dash, but then a crazy-looking Harry Dean Stanton pulls a gun on them. Chuck asks if this has anything to do with his mom or dad or Tangiers or that café in Budapest, but Harry Dean's all, "Uh, what? I'm the repo man, and I'm here for the car." Chuck questions Morgan, since the car cost, like, $900. But Morgan says they're $43,000 in debt. Morgan suggests Chuck kung-fu him, and Harry Dean's like, "Do you got some chop-sockey, boy?" Chuck, who's given up the kung-fu life, says, "No, sir, fresh out of chop-sockey." They let him take the car. Harry Dean offers some advice before he peels away in the beater: "Get a job." Chuck says he's working on it, and Morgan tells Chuck this doesn't happen to real spies.

As if to show us, then, what does happen to real spies, Casey and Sarah find Dolph Lundgren on a rooftop in Hong Kong and pull their guns on him. But he pulls out a gadget that shuts down all the power within three clicks (does anyone really know what a click is anyway?). Dolph tells them it's Volkoff's EMP and Volkoff's agents will be here any minute, so Sarah and Casey are trapped. Maybe so, but they're still badasses, so Sarah kicks Dolph in the face. After some small talk about whether Chuck should be there (Casey thinks he should be since he's the Intersect and needs to wear his big-boy pants), she tells him it's good that he brought the chutes, and they jump off the building. Which is pretty cool.

Back at home, Chuck wakes up to an empty bed, but Morgan's standing there with his iPhone, snapping photos of Chuck and his bare chest. He says Sara's going to love these and then tosses him some baby oil. But Chuck's not into that and wants to know what Morgan's doing here with baby oil. Morgan says he's trying to get Chuck out of the funk he's in about missing Sarah, so he's here to talk to him about sexting, which Morgan believes is "sex writing." Chuck tries to move on to job talk -- he told Ellie he's looking for work and she set up some interviews -- but Morgan's all about the sexting. To the point that it's a little creepy, actually, because it seems like he's the one who wants to sext Sarah. Or, probably more likely, Chuck.

Chuck's in an interview with a guy who can't believe a catch like him hasn't been snatched up. Chuck overuses the word snatch, then says he's sorry, but he doesn't normally use that word "for a myriad of reasons." Also, he's normally a smooth operator, like Sade. Oh, how I love nervous Chuck. But he says today's been strange because he's had so many terrible interviews. We flash back through them as he says one interviewer fell asleep, one got ill, one went into convulsions, and one went for a cup of coffee and never came back. This interviewer thinks that's crazy and says he has some good news for Chuck. As he's about to offer Chuck the job, his phone rings and he picks it up. He says, "Yes!" Then a concerned "What?" as he looks at Chuck. He hangs up and tells Chuck the position's been filled, and he's going to have security escort Chuck from the building. Chuck wonders who was on the phone and tries to explain, but the security guards are carrying him out.

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Chuck

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