Chuck
Chuck Versus the Bo

Episode Report Card
Angel Cohn: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Taste the Rainbow

In the most infuriating development on this show to date (and that is saying a lot), they decided to stick the Intersect into Sarah's brain. At this point, the Intersect is less of a unique weapon that can only be handled by someone with Chuck's intelligence and brain capacity and more of a bong that's been passed around to everyone who showed up at this party. But before we get to that, there were even more ridiculous happenings. No wonder my DVR at home only recorded two minutes of this episode. Even technology can't deal with the stupidity of this show. And yet my DVR can handle Mob Wives and The Bachelor.

Somehow, the most tolerable plotline involved Jeff and Lester. Yeah, you read that right. After the two discovered Castle, Morgan and Casey took them to the desert, put them in a crashed car, gas them and make it look like a Hangover night gone wrong. But Jeff (yes, Jeff) is too smart for this and realizes that they were on to something. Still, after following Chuck and Sarah and writing clues on Jeff's arm Memento-style, they end up in the same car not once, but twice more. Eventually being so gassed and easily duped by a few marks with a sharpie, they give up on the whole spy theory and go to Vegas to eat Subway sandwiches with Big Mike. I was going to take off points for the annoying Subway product placement, but then again, this subplot did include the fantastic Band song "The Weight," so it evened out in the wash.

Meanwhile, Sarah has decided that she'd like to stop being a spy so she and Chuck can start a family. And she'd like to turn Carmichael Industries into a company focused on countering cyber terrorism, so they won't get shot at so much. Casey's reluctant, but he's ultimately okay with it if it means ditching the Buy More cover. Can't blame him: after being able to sport a cashmere sweater, going back to those awful green cotton shirts must be terrible.

But their transition is waylaid because of a video message that Morgan recorded on an iPhone that was lost and now is found. It was from the time he was the Intersect and had frosted tips. He discovered another pair of intersect glasses, along with a big bad guy named Nicholas Quinn who wanted them for nefarious purposes. Ellie shows up for a hot second to hypnotize Morgan into revealing the location of the glasses, but he just comes up with the vault. It's not until Morgan texts someone named BD that he gets a clue to head to Vail. Who is BD? Oh, it's just Bo Derek. She's a spy. And she had originally come to Vail to put Morgan in his place because he was mouthing off about being the Intersect to an entire bar full of people. She also had sex with him, it appears. He feels guilty, but Alex also had sex with some man named Dale while they were on their break. They are even -- that is, if you call sleeping with a dopey guy who talks about filling you with rainbows and sleeping with a still-hot-for-her-age film icon even.

Morgan eventually remembers that he stashed the glasses in the vault at the Vail Buy More (and there were some clever copies of the Burbank Buy More employees working there), and then Nicholas comes after the crew. He gets free, and they just let him go, and even tell Casey not to bother with him. Because that makes sense if you are trying to get out of the spy business.

Of course Nicholas kidnaps Chuck and wants the glasses in return, and totally ambushes Sarah and Casey when they show up at yet another abandoned warehouse. They are trapped and low on bullets, so Sarah puts on the glasses and becomes the Intersect. But it doesn't make any sense. She's already an amazing fighter and skilled at kung fu. She kicked butt as the Intersect in the same way she always kicks ass, so why exactly did she need to put on the glasses? Just because it was a convenient storyline to take us to the end of the season?

But the worst part of this episode was during the flashback to Morgan as the Intersect (a dark period I'd happily forgotten) when we had to see him fighting off Nicholas while wearing boxer shorts. That image is now permanently embedded in my brain. So thanks for that, show.

Chuck

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