Chuck
Chuck Versus the Cliffhanger

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
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"That Guy Might Think He's a Hard-Ass, But I'm The Intersect"
t is "Bartowski wedding, 4 p.m." (Shouldn't it say "Walker-Bartowski wedding"?) Anyway, that's what's going on inside. Does anyone else have whiplash? Sarah's in a totally different dress than she tried on at Castle, so you'd be forgiven for thinking this is a dream sequence. But I'll spare you the suspense: It's not. When we arrive at the wedding, Sarah's apparently already said her vows (which can't have meant as much to Chuck the second time, and the show obviously knows that, since they spared us), so it's Chuck's turn. (Oh, and Sarah, by the way, looks even more gorgeous than ever, all glowy and shiny and with a loose side up-do.) He tells her his vows don't cut it, because they don't express the depth of his love or that he'll fight for her every day or that their kids will be like little superheroes. "So no vows. I'll just prove it to you every day for the rest of our lives. You can count on me." She replies "Perfect." And everyone's crying, but no one more than their minister, Morgan. He marries them by the power vested in him by the Intergalactic Federation of Planets. Sarah giggles. Then they kiss. It's not their most passionate one ever, but then he dips her and kisses her neck. Sweet.

As they leave the church, we get a "made when showrunners weren't sure if this was returning" montage of Chuck and Sarah. It includes some big moments: "Trust me, Chuck." And that explosive first kiss. They really really make out in a hotel bed. They tell each other "I love you." Chuck tries to have the perfect proposal in France. Then they get into their limo, all smiley, and ask their driver to take them to the airport. Really? In her wedding dress? The driver's Morgan, which Chuck is surprised about, but Morgan says he's always been the driver. "Having a little trouble letting go, I suppose." Chuck asks him to roll up the partition, and he does.

As the car drives away, Chuck gets a call from Hartley, who apologizes for missing the party, but he says they sent a little gift. "Just a little something for my best friend's son and his bride. Be wise with it, Charles." Aww. I'm going to miss Volkoff/Hartley. Chuck pulls an envelope out from under his seat, and he and Sarah look at it in shock.

Two Weeks Later. Buy More. Chuck shows up in his Nerd Herd outfit. Jeffster! are manning the Nerd Herd station, though. They tell Chuck that the Buy More's been sold, and they're sure they'll all be jobless within a week. A customer comes up and Lester says, "Leave us alone. Private conversation." Chuck tells them to give it a little time, then leaves. Big Mike yells at them to get to work, since the new owner might stop by today. Chuck heads down to Castle, which is totally empty except for one box. The TV monitor comes on. It's Decker, who tells Chuck it's "the dawn of a new chapter, eh, boy?" Chuck tells him to watch the "boy" talk. Decker says the box is full of his personal effects, from General Redhead. "Wouldn't want you to be without your pocket protector." Chuck says he'd rather wear it than be in business with Decker.

This next part is important (I think. I hope), so I'll try not to miss anything. Decker: "You really think you've been fighting evil? Doing good? You're just a pawn. You always were." Chuck asks what he's talking about. Decker: "You think it was all a coincidence? The Intersect? Fulcrum? The Ring? Shaw? Agent X? It was all just part of the plan, Bartowski. Pieces on the puzzle board. See you never, Bartowski." Chuck asks him to wait and asks what plan. "My life was changed forever. My friends were put in danger. My family -- My father was killed, Decker." Decker gives his best toothy evil villain laugh. Then he shuts himself off, leaving static. Which we all know wouldn't happen on a TV that fancy. It would be a blue screen.

Still in Castle later, Casey, Sarah, Chuck, and Morgan wonder who could be the puppet master. (God, what if the evil laugh right as he said his father was killed means the puppet master is Stephen J. "Bakula" Bartowski? I would be happy to see him and so angry at the show for making him a villain. Don't do it, Schwartz.) Casey says it doesn't matter anyway, since the CIA fired them all. Chuck says okay, and asks what if they went into business themselves. Casey asks who, and Sarah says they have a base (empty Castle) and the Buy More's proven to be an excellent cover (excellent? Really? How many times have bad guys found it?!) Morgan says there's just one problem: The Buy More sold. Chuck says they know; they bought it. With the $877 million Hartley gave them as a wedding gift: all of the assets of Volkoff Industries. Chuck prefers to think of it as a cool billion, because it's fun to say. He says their first purchase was the Buy More and everything below it. And now they have all of Volkoff's resources at their disposal. They ask if Casey and Morgan still want to take on bad guys. Casey: "Hell yeah." Morgan: "Hells yeah." Chuck says they've bought a Gulf Stream, but still need to re-outfit Castle. So, any ideas? He, Casey, and Sarah walk away as Morgan marvels about being freelance spies. He basically writes himself his own little fan fiction about them. Then he notices a pair of sunglasses in Chuck's box of effects. He picks them up -- slick new shades for a slick new gig. We see a note under them that says they're for Chuck from General Redhead. He wonders what could go wrong, then puts on the glasses. He gets Intersected, and falls over. Still lying down, he opens his eyes: "Guys, I know kung fu."

I guess we'll have to wait all summer to see if that's a joke. But the rest of the end (resetting the show in the same place with exactly the same characters) feels a little tired to me. I enjoy Jeffster! in moderation, but could live without the entire Buy More storyline nearly episode. Think about it: The reason this episode rocked was because there was no Buy More B plot.

DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, wonders if they're going to change the show's name to Morgan next season, or if it will just be one episode of stardom/superheroism like Jonathan in "Superstar." You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.

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Chuck

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