Chuck

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | 1724 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
When X Is Not X

Sarah wonders if Chuck will actually live through this, due to this being a spy mission and him not being a spy, and all, and Casey's like, "I don't know? But I know he'll try." Which he means in a nice pussycat way, but Sarah knows is the problem. She calls Chuck for the sixth time and he babbles at her about Switzerland for awhile -- "Other than the fact that this place is populated with a crowd of international psychopaths, the air is so fresh! And the chocolate? So milky!" -- and Sarah reiterates how he needs to stay like a little girl with no powers because that's what he is today. Riggle shows up in a tux, and now they're both wearing tuxes. Riggle's awesome line: "Someone could recognize you as CIA, come after you with a knife!" He nearly clicks his heels together at the thought.

Auction time. Richard Chamberlain is there selling the diamond: "Adelbert de Smet, better known as The Belgian." Chuck makes a waffle joke, which isn't funny but produces an amazing response in Rob Riggle: "Belgian! Yes! Yes! I love your humor. So disarming!" So de Smet is usually about industrial espionage, which is weird, and then Riggle points out the major underworld players from Russia, Serbia, Montenegro, et cetera. Chuck's impressed by how Riggle knows things, due to being a spy.

"Focus, Chuck. When you win the bidding, your competition's not going to be happy. If you're lucky, they'll follow you! And try and kill you!" All lit up like Christmas, Riggle bounces, leaving Chuck alone and waiting for death. The bidding starts and he gets so into it that he forgets that he's the high bidder and bids against himself. The auctioneer is polite about it; less so the Russian now sticking a gun against Chuck's right kidney.

"Bid again, get bullet in back." Chuck bids again. "Nice try, Rye, but I'm not falling for it. Going twice." More gun-shoving, more bidding. "I'm not afraid of your phony Russian accent or your finger-gun, okay?" He bids against, despite the threat of murder. "Oh, look at that, I didn't die. What a shocker!" Chuck finally turns around enough to get a load of the guy, who is clearly not Rob Riggle, and is immediately drained of all gorm and hap. The bid is lost, the mission is blown, and still no flash. Although Swiss chocolate is still very milky, they discuss.

Riggle can't believe that Chuck's presumption of his own safety overrode even a gun in the side, but Chuck admits that mostly it's because Russian accents always sound like fake accents. Which is hilarious, because that's totally true. Russian and Cajun accents both sound like somebody doing an impression of something very unrealistic. On the other hand, the real mystery of the diamond is why all these creeps want it so bad, and there's still time to figure that out because it's not like anybody actually brought a hundred million Swiss francs to EvilCon 2010, so the diamond's still going to be there overnight. Riggle does him one better and suggests stealing it themselves, with all the appropriate twitching and eyebrow-woggling and those sea-before-a-storm Wesley-blue eyes of his just twinkling madly.

Chuck

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