Chuck

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A middle aged man in a suit is being chased through a train yard. Sadly, not by a pack of angry shovel- and pitchfork-wielding hobos, but by someone who bears an eerie resemblance to Chuck, except this guy has a gun... and pulled a trigger. Did Chuck buy a pair? More on that later, no doubt, but first we have to watch Lester and Jeff play some sort of Nerf man-hunting game in the middle of the Buy More. As Lester pleads for his life, Casey grabs them both by the scruff of the neck and sets them straight with a few quick... words. So boring. And poor Casey! He doesn't get to be a spy anymore, but he still has to work at the Buy More? In the words of Speedy Gonzalez: Ay yi yi. As Casey lectures them in his new role of assistant manager, Lester tosses a few zingers about Casey's make-believe life as a military badass, and sadly they now ring true for Casey. So he borrows a move from the Three Stooges and clocks Jeff's and Lester's heads together, despite the company-wide "No Touching" rule. But we all know that rule applied mostly to Jeff anyway. Chuck assesses the carnage and quickly deduces that without a License to Kill, Casey is a menace to society. He promises Casey that he will do everything he can to get him his job back, but it is just so sad that it has come to this. Casey, however, is much more realistic about his career prospects. He betrayed his team and his country and will now spend life in the Buy More purgatory with Jeff and Lester, who are feeling a touch litigious and want Big Mike to craft Casey into a more user-friendly model. Obviously, Casey threatens to kill Lester and Jeff in the middle of the team-building exercise. Besides, Big Mike has his back. Big Mike knows Casey is a hard worker, now he just has to make him into management material. At least while Morgan is in El Segundo. Poor Casey, fired as a spy and now playing an ersatz Morgan. Does it get any lower than that? As Big Mike spews successor-y slogans, you can see Casey assessing all the different ways he could kill Big Mike with just one finger. Poor, sociopathic Casey.

Sarah has returned from her "business" trip to Washington D.C. with Shaw. For some reason, Chuck really seems to think it was truly just business. I mean, I know he's supposed to be sort of emotionally stunted, but does he really not notice that Sarah hasn't made eye contact with him in, like, three weeks and has been spending an awful lot of time with Shaw? The general appears on the old iChat screen to explain to Chuck that he has one final test. If he succeeds in his mission, he will graduate to being a real, live, grown-up spy. One without a job at the Buy More. A spy living in Rome with a cover of a billionaire industrialist. Because, yeah, that is definitely a role Chuck could play easily. His gawky mannerisms and nonstop nervous jabbering would totally work as a billionaire industrialist in Italy. No problemo. Or however you say that in Italian. Chuck obviously gets so atwitter at the thought of becoming a real spy that he pretty much does the Hamster Dance, but more awkwardly. The general throws a wet blanket on that party when she explains that Sarah and Shaw would be based in DC, and Chuck would be the saddest, loneliest spy ever. Maybe he could take Morgan with him. The Italians would love Morgan. Before they got to know him, obviously.

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Chuck

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