Episode Report Card
Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now!
Chuck Versus The Imported Hard Salami

At Buy More, Lester and Jeff gloatingly tell Morgan that the news of his failed hookup is all over the mall, and the guys at the Sbarro even named a pizza after him -- "no sauce, no toppings, nothing but pure cheese -- it's called The Loser." Without skipping a beat, they go to grab a slice, and I'd totally be with them on that particular pizza except for the Sbarro's part, because ew. Morgan looks dejected, and Anna watches surreptitiously but also unhappily.

The operatives are parked near the club, the back of which is apparently the meeting place. Casey outfits a watch with a mike and gives it to Chuck just before Lou drives up, and Chuck hops out in pursuit. Sarah hotheadedly wants to follow, and Casey has to remind her that they've both been caught on tape, so they can't risk being spotted. God, Sarah, when Casey has to calm you down, it's time to take a long hard look at yourself, no?

Chuck sneaks back and watches as Stavros takes a wooden crate out of his car and puts it down, for which Lou thanks him. He asks a brief question about Chuck, and then says he'll be back with the rest of her stuff. Chuck then pops out, and they have words that end with him opening the crate with a crowbar -- out of which tumbles a variety of salami. Again, I saw this coming -- mostly because of the episode title, but...the other titles didn't give away a plot twist that I can remember. Anyway, Lou sarcastically says she's a smuggler -- she knows it's illegal because there are no additives or preservatives in the stuff, and it normally takes ten days to clear customs. Unfortunately, Chuck freaks out that Lou is incriminating herself, given that she's unwittingly announcing her crimes to the agents, so he takes off his watch and drops it in a conveniently-nearby glass of something or other. This causes the transmission to go static-y, which is all the excuse Sarah needs to go running off to check on Chuck again. Chuck apologizes to Lou, but she stomps off anyway; Sarah then appears just in time for both of them to get ensnared by a pin- and gun-wielding Stavros, who locks them both in his trunk. Get comfy, kids!

Casey realizes something's wrong and gets out of the car; meanwhile, in the trunk, Chuck and Sarah snipe at each other, but Sarah thinks they'll be okay because the watch Casey gave Chuck has a GPS device in it. I don't normally mind this show being preposterous -- that's part of the fun -- but the idea that the agents wouldn't also have similar devices on them as a matter of course is just defying the show's internal logic, and it, if you'll pardon the expression, bugs. Casey finds the watch and seethes, "Idiot," and you'd be hard-pressed to find someone to disagree at the moment. Sarah makes the good and obvious point that the CIA would hardly have cared about a deli-meat smuggler, so Chuck has to counter that he's not a prefect spy like Bryce. Sarah asks who's jealous now, so Chuck responds, "Me? Jealous of you and Bryce? Never." The salami may go bad quickly around here, but I'm betting that ironic foreshadowing will keep for a week. Sarah asks if he's done, and he says yes, basically. Sarah: "Good. Now shut up -- you're sucking up all the air." Hee.

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