Cut to Big Mike eating a twinkie just like his cousin. Big Mike doesn't exactly have everything under control. He's actually sitting in his Santa suit in his Santa chair, whining to Buster about how all of his customers will go to Large Mart now. Buster comforts him, and says it's going to be okay because all of the news outlets are bringing publicity. Big Mike also realizes his cousin, Big Al, will be there along with half of LAPD. He's confident the store will be back open before lunch.
Ned, meanwhile, is watching the news. Chuck approaches him and Ned tells him he hates the picture of himself the news stations are using. Ned tells Chuck he's not a bad guy normally, but he lost his job. He just wanted to get some gifts for his kids, and next thing he knew, he was the next O.J. He asks Chuck what he can do, because he doesn't want to go to jail. Chuck tells him that if he gives up now, since he hasn't hurt anyone, he might be able to get a deal. Ned asks why, and Chuck tells him a secret (ALWAYS smart to tell your secrets to a stranger who might be insane and/or a criminal): He knows some people who could make this go away if Ned doesn't do anything stupid. Ned asks who. And we see Casey and Sarah pushing out the lockers in the backroom and entering the Buy More from OOSSL.
Back with Ned and Chuck, the phone rings and Ned freaks. He asks Chuck to answer it. Chuck does, and it's Lieutenant Mauser, who asks to talk to Ned. Ned doesn't want to talk, so Mauser says he and Chuck will have to work through this themselves. Chuck tells Mauser that Ned doesn't want any trouble, so Mauser asks him to send out a hostage as a sign of good faith. Or, you know, start bigger, Supposed Trained Professional Hostage Negotiator, and ask him to let them all go. Chuck relays the message, and Buster immediately starts running forward, saying, "Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!" I have never noticed this before, but Tony Hale could play Pee-Wee Herman if there were ever a remake. He says it's 86-year-old grandma is dying and needs him, so Ned agrees to send him. Buster hugs Ned and cocks an eyebrow at Chuck, then leaves. Lester and Jeff think Chuck worked out a deal to let Buster go so Chuck can get better lunch breaks. As if Chuck ever works anyway.