Chuck and Sarah get a mission to go live in the suburbs and pretend they're a married couple. They do it, of course, and they meet Andy Richter, Jenny McCarthy, and many other creepy suburbanites who are all eerily smiley and sunshiney. Casey keeps popping up as the cable guy, so they're all in the mix. Soon enough, they realize that one specific neighbor is the bad guy they're looking for. Luckily, his wife (Jenny McCarthy) hit on Chuck so he goes over to spy. Instead of romance or intel, Chuck gets a Fulcrum intersect loaded into his brain. Agent Redhead calls him off the mission, and sends Sarah back, under the guise that she and Chuck are getting a divorce. Casey goes, too, and sits around suspiciously in his cable truck. Chuck flashes on something from the neighborhood (thanks to his new Fulcrum-filled brain) and realizes the whole neighborhood is Fulcrum. He goes back to save Casey and Sarah, and they all end up in Fulcrum custody. The Fulcrum agents test him by loading their whole supercomputer into his brain. He pretends he's a different person now, but he's not, and he and Casey save Sarah from getting killed by the supercomputer images, but the agents' lives aren't spared. Even with one suburban den of evil destroyed, Agent Redhead tells Sarah that Chuck's never been in more danger. This makes Sarah decide to be cold and ask for the fake wedding ring back after he asks her on a date. He goes home to tell Ellie that he and Sarah will never be more than they are right now, and he's okay with it (except that he's not), while Sarah helps Casey and a bunch of other agents clean out the suburban house. Casey asks her if she's done there, and she says she is (except that she's not). It's more of that frustrating stuff this show is so good at: making us all want Chuck and Sarah to just be a couple already.
The Buy More storyline is a little more interesting than it has been, too, because Morgan, Lester, Buster Bluth (with an incredible toupee), and Jeff help Big Mike start online dating on Valentine's Day. He goes out on a date, and comes in the next day saying he did all sorts of crazy stuff. His new girlfriend is coming in to meet him, so that he can tell her he's not really the shipping magnate he claims. When she arrives, he tells her the news, and she admits she wasn't completely honest either. In fact, she thought he had her come to the Buy More because he had found out her secret: She has a son. Who works there. And it's Morgan! It's a Valentine's Day miracle. Or, if you're Morgan, it's probably the opposite of that.
What else is in store for this season? The creators and Yvonne Strahovski answer some burning questions. Come back on Wednesday for the full weecap of this episode.
We open on a close-up of a Clockwork Orange-style eye as a computerized voice explains they're going to run some tests. The guy asks what he's being tested for, and the computer says they'll show him a training video that will explain everything. Red light flashes and the guy obviously can't close his eyes. I can hardly stand to watch it.
Chuck's looking at something, all confused, when Sarah walks up behind him and asks if he's okay. Now, how could she tell from behind that he was looking confused? That Sarah sure is smart. He tells her he's not okay ever since Buster Bluth started playing romantic comedies on all the Buy More screens. Apparently, it's mostly Must Love Dogs, so I would say that Buster Bluth is also not very okay. Sarah asks Chuck about tonight, and he thinks there's a mission he doesn't know about. She's just talking about Valentine's Day, though. He completely forgot and wonders if she wants to do something. She was just curious, unless he wants to do something. He thinks it seems like they should do something. She agrees, since they've been cover dating for more than a year. They think it would be weird if they didn't do something. But then they decide to give their covers the night off. Until Morgan walks up and asks what their hot plans are, so they settle on tonight at 8. Sarah walks off and Morgan asks who would have ever thought the two of them would have two hot women like they do (except that Anna has been nowhere to be seen forever; I actually forgot she existed). Big Mike walks up, clearly pissed off, and says that their relationships with women who are so out of their league are a cruel trick of nature. He then yells at them to get to work. On his way back to his office, he also takes time to yell at Jeff and Lester. And he even yells at Buster for making cupcakes and wearing a toupee. Buster is just trying to look nice because "Henrietta" is in town for Valentine's Day, and he thinks the toupee doesn't look that different. Jeff and Lester stifle their laughter, because it looks completely ridiculous. Big Mike storms off, and Buster wonders who crapped in his box of chocolates.
Big Mike's yelling at someone on the phone in his office as Morgan, Jeff and Lester watch. They think Big Mike's actually working, and cannot believe it. Jeff thinks it might actually be a robot, so Lester's going to go stab him with a pen. Chuck suggests going to talk to him, and goes to do that himself. When he walks in, Big Mike asks him what kind of woman delivers divorce papers on Valentine's Day. Apparently, Big Mike's wife. And now Big Mike's working to keep himself from realizing he's going to spend the rest of his life alone and unloved. And he tells Chuck to make everyone else work harder, and get that damn Must Love Dogs off the TV. Good call on that one, at least.