Chuck
Chuck Versus the Third Dimension

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DeAnn Welker: B | Grade It Now!
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Chuck Star!

Agent Redhead is on her LCD in the Secret Spy Lair, asking why someone would want to kill Charlie. Chuck explains that it's because he totally sucks, and has terrible lyrics, and that there's even a Facebook group called "I want to kill Tyler Martin." Not that Chuck's a member or anything. I'm not going to go through all the members of the group to verify or anything. I trust him. Chuck fills Agent Redhead in on the type of grenade the bad guy left behind. Turns out it's military that's commonly used by North African military units. Coincidentally, Charlie just finished a tour there. Agent Redhead would like them to get him alone and question him, please.

Just then, he's entering the Buy More in the craziest rock star outfit imaginable. It's like what would happen if Fall Out Boy had a baby with, like, Ashlee Simpson. You know: Trying to be hard-core, but just ... not. He's a total cliché of our modern-day rock stars, and I love that, because I hate today's "rock stars." So I need them to be parodied and made fun of, thus creating a reason for their existence that I can live with. It's even slow motion while he walks in. And all of the fan girls (and Jeff and Lester) are giddy with joy at seeing Charlie in person. Charlie climbs onto the Nerd Herd counter and says, "Hello, Cleveland!" Ha. Total rock star move. Everyone is silent and someone's all, "Uh, this is Burbank." Charlie: "Oh, whatever." He then thanks all of the humanitarians who have affected his work: "Mother Teresa. Nelson Mandela -- God rest his soul. And my personal favorite, Angelina Jolie." Lester is practically squealing with joy. Charlie then reveals that he's putting a golden ticket inside a CD, which is good for a back stage pass to his benefit concert tomorrow night. Just like Willy Wonka!

Charlie's manager tries to tell him how good "this" will be for his brand (this appearance at the Buy More? How so?) while Chuck wonders how they'll grab him with security crawling all over the place. But Sarah and Charlie aren't paying attention to the people talking to them because she's making sexy faces at Charlie, finding a quick and easy way to get him alone. He obviously quickly takes the bait, because she's Sarah and he's a rock star. Before you can say "Live Aid," he's following Sarah into the back room. She tells him she's a fan, and he asks if she's a model, actress, massage therapist, or acrobat. She says she can be whatever he wants, and Chuck (hiding with Casey) makes a gagging noise. Charlie's all, "I think we've got a pervert," but before he finds them, Casey shoots him with a tranquilizer.

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Chuck

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