Chuck Versus the Zoom

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: B | 1 USERS: A+
"We're Still Working Out the Kinks"

Cut to the athletic club, where Chuck's giving Bale's squash partner a big, greasy massage (he likes it deep and hard, y'all) while Morgan pretends to be Michael Carmichael of Carmichael Industries, a subsidiary of MichaelCo. Bale thinks that sounds like a lot of money, and Morgan agrees that if he were standing on his wallet, "I'd be tall." Chuck continues to massage the giant muscley squash partner (whose name is "Killer" Burnham, by the way, because he killed nine people in the Foreign Legion), while Casey hacks his way into Bale's BlackBerry. Problem: Casey gets caught so Sarah calls in Chuck. He pulls out a tranq gun to take his guy out and go help Casey. But the guy who caught Casey happens to be an old friend, also working the private sector. For "a turd named Bale. A real scuzzer. But at least it's a payday." Killer's already caught Chuck and his tranq gun. Chuck fills Killer's chest up with tranq darts, but he's 400 pounds of solid meat, so it doesn't do a think. And when Chuck finally gets him down for a half-second, Chuck's hands are too greased-up to open the door and escape. Morgan, meanwhile, asks Bale if he knows what Morgan should do with $40 million lying around. Sarah comes in at the end of the match, and Morgan introduces her as "Bunny Doll." Morgan and Sarah get a personal invite to the party from Bale. Casey busts in and gives Chuck the good news: Morgan, THE INTERSECT (in case Chuck or any of us forgot), saved the day.

Castle. Chuck congratulates Morgan on the success, and tells him they wired a couple million into Bale's account so Morgan's all set for the party. Chuck tells Morgan which suit to wear: Bond, not Bogart. Then they have a heart to heart about Chuck's life without the Intersect (he didn't know how hard being a spy could be). Then Morgan tells Chuck to focus on the big picture: perfect wife, perfect house. He pulls out a binder with "T.I.T.S" written across it in big letters. When Sarah comes in, Morgan hides the binder and jumps up, saying he'll get this to the lab. Sarah reminds Chuck she's a trained spy who knows when someone's keeping a secret, especially when it's her husband. He denies it some more, but she and Casey are going to scout Bale's corporate headquarters. They'll talk later.

Chuck sees the "Save Jeff" banner on the Buy More security cam, and he and Morgan head up there to inspect. Everything still looks weirdly normal, so they wonder where in the world Jeffster! is. Jeff wheels in just then in a wheelchair and neck brace. He runs himself straight into the Nerd Herd counter, and people drop money in a Save Jeff jar. Lester comes out and tells Chuck and Morgan how heartbreaking it is that Jeff was trampled by a rush of secretaries for the midnight release of the talking Justin Bieber doll, and he may never walk again. He scolds them that they would know this if they ever bothered to actually come to work. Chuck says he can't believe it, and Morgan feels terrible. Chuck's like, "No. I literally can't believe it." They watch Jeff ask someone for cash, lying that the Buy More insurance ran out. Chuck and Morgan contemplate creating a ruse to trick Jeff out of his chair, but instead they just wait for him to get up and walk up a ladder and put away a piece of inventory. Chuck and Morgan tell Jeff he's giving back every penny or going to jail. Jeff: "To see my mom?" Lester comes over and says the walking is a miracle, and is because of everyone's donations. But Chuck and Morgan shame them for their behavior, take the signs and banners, and leave.

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