Chuck's alarm clock goes off at seven and he jumps out of bed to the dulcet tones of (Ugh) Huey Lewis. It's "Hip to be Square," which I suppose is apt, but, damn, now that song is going to be stuck in my head for the next twelve years. Chuck dances into the bathroom and into his sister and Awesome having a shower a deux. He screeches like a meerkat and runs out. At the breakfast table he congratulates Awesome on God's big gift (nudge nudge, wink wink) and opines that he really should get his own place. He really needs to get his life together. He shouldn't be working at the Buy More; he should get a job with a future. His sister is in gleeful shock. She is super excited and proud at his momentary spark of ambition and they keep talking about Tony Robbins who I will have to Google sooner or later. [Okay, I Googled him. He's an inspirational speaker. A walking Successory. I would have chuckled if I had known who he was.] Chuck heads out to the Buy More. The electric door to the Buy More swings open and Chuck looks at it with the eyes of a new man. A man who can do anything. He surveys the customers, the aisles, the Morgan. Sigh...I was sort of hoping Morgan was killed off during the hiatus, but there he is crouching like a Keebler Elf with some Fudge Stripes tucked somewhere uncomfortable. He pulls Chuck over to check out the blueprint for conquering a new video game. He has their strategy all mapped out and he is confident they will prevail! Instead of brushing him off like he did most of last season, Chuck calls him his hero and then brushes him off to go talk to Casey. Chuck attempts to thank Casey for saving him all the time, but Casey knocks him out of the way and yells at him for cock-blocking his attempts to sell merchandise to hot customers. Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Big Mike calls Chuck into the office. Big Mike wants Chuck to be the assistant manager. Chuck with his new attitude and new ambition turns him down. His punishment (and ours) is that we have to watch him interview Skeevy, Grumpy, Dopey, and Drunk for the position. Morgan can't believe that Chuck would turn down such a powerful position in the Buy More family. Chuck confesses that he may not want to work there forever. Morgan blames Sarah for driving them apart. He understands it though. Sarah is hot. To prove this hotness, we cut to Sarah now working at Orange Orange, a yogurt shop. Actually, it's probably shoppe. She is wearing a tight orange tank top and is very unhygienically licking yogurt drippings off her fingers. Health Department would love that! She's so hot I'm surprised the yogurt doesn't melt. I am not nearly teenage-boy enough for this show. Chuck wanders in to the shoppe and sighs that he misses the Bavarian charm of the Wienerlicious. Sarah explains that her clothes smelled like sausage, which sounds really dirty. The new-and-improved Chuck mans up and asks her out on a real date. She says there are a million reasons she shouldn't go on a date with the guy she is employed (by the federal government) to protect, but Chuck changes her mind. It takes about half a second to convince her. Don't the taxpayers have enough to pay for without picking up the tab for a date?