Chuck

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It Takes Five To Tango

Chuck and Sarah are headed to the art auction with Casey driving the limo. Casey and Sarah give Chuck last-minute advice, but Chuck is worried about his tango skills. This confuses Sarah, who asks Casey if tango is some sort of code. Casey snorts. And Chuck is all, what? What? Oh, spy humor. Sarah smirks.

After the Angry Man's nasty surprise, the Nerd Herd is leaving. This little nerdie has internet poker. And this little nerdie is off by 8:00 and hammered by 8:05. Hee! Morgan is having none of it! They can't leave while Chuck Bartowski is going where none of them have gone before! To have intercourse with a beautiful girl! The girl nerd is all, "Speak for yourself!" Which sets all the boy nerds twittering, "Interesting. Interesting." They still head for the door, but Morgan stops them dead in their tracks by stating that if they leave, Harry Tang (ooh, Angry Man has a name!) will become the assistant manager. That means no more two-hour lunch breaks. No more Xbox tournaments. No porn. Work hell. They all agree to keep working, but their boy Chuck better go the distance. So gross. I'm never shopping at Buy More.

Five minutes into the art auction, Chuck has already spilled soy sauce on his shirt and announced to the room at large that he is a spy. As he heads to the men's room to wash up, Sarah tells him to quit saying that he is a spy. In the bathroom, a man comes in, and Chuck recognizes him as La Ciudad and stares at him. I thought it was universal guy law not to stare at anything in the men's room. The guy gets uncomfortable and asks Chuck if he knows him. Chuck bleats no, then goes out and points the guy out not at all subtly to Sarah. La Ciudad totally knows they are talking about him.

Now that Chuck identified the perp, their mission is accomplished, and they can go, right? Wrong-o, Chuck-O. That would make far too much sense, and besides, we still have half an hour to fill. Sarah tells him to go wait at the bar. Obviously, Casey is the bartender. Chuck asks for a martini, shaken AND stirred. Casey pours him a seltzer with a cherry. Chuck's attempts at being low-profile and incognito are spoiled when some Silicon Valley douche shouts Chuck's name. The guy says his name is Allan Waterman, but I shall call him Doucheball. Apparently, they went to Stanford together, and yet he doesn't know that Chuck was chucked. (Heh.) By the way, I sincerely hope Stanford is paying for all this publicity, since every fifth word in this episode is Stanford. Doucheball is living Chuck's dream. He sold his software company and is now faced with the problem that plagues many a douche: namely, being too young to retire, but too rich to work. Chuck says that he is in a managerial position with an electronics conglomerate. Doucheball asks him who he's here with, and Chuck eagerly points out his hot date. Unfortunately, just then, Sarah is dirty-dancing with the guy from the bathroom. Chuck explains that they have a very open relationship. Doucheball hands Chuck his card in case he needs help finding a job. The card triggers a flash. Something about insider trading in offshore accounts in the Cayman Islands? Doucheball pales, asks if Chuck is with the SEC, and makes a quick exit.

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Chuck

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