Chuck

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It Takes Five To Tango

Morgan is still locked in the cage and is on the phone frantically trying to track down Chuck at the art auction. He convinces some front-desk woman to peruse the auction looking for Chuck. He describes Chuck as non-traditionally attractive and wearing a tuxedo, and the woman heads straight for Chuck and asks if he is Chuck Bartowski. But since he has figured out his life is in danger, Chuck is determined to stick with his cover story and denies being Chuck. Morgan hears him and screams, "Chuck!" over and over, but Chuck refuses to take the phone. So totally not smooth.

The additional computer repairs, and the fact that Morgan locked himself in with the computers, have put the Nerd Herd off their mission. They wander off and leave Morgan alone in the dark, locked in the cage, with no food or water. Nature is so cruel -- always thinning the Herd by leaving the weird bearded ones to die alone in the wilderness of the big-box store.

Sarah and Casey walk back into the ballroom and realize that Chuck is gone. Chuck has been tied to a chair by the WOM, who has two goons and a really big knife. She demands to know who he is. He feebly tries to keep up his cover story, but she breaks him down by throwing a knife in the general vicinity of his man parts. He breaks and screams: "Chuck Bartowski!" The WOM starts going through her options for making him talk: tooth-pulling, toe-chopping, chucking him off the balcony. Chuck claims that he snuck into the party on a fake name to impress a girl. The goons pick up the chair with him in it and make for the window. He yammers and yammers and finally yells, "It's a scam!" That stops the goons. The WOM asks for an explanation, and Chuck says he thinks the picture of the water lilies is a fake or something, because he saw a picture of it in the paper and it had a different frame. The WOM is still suspicious, and she demands to know how to fix a computer. He launches into PC repair talk so boring that the WOM instantly believes that he really is just a computer repair guy who snuck into the auction. Unfortunately, now that he has seen her, he has to die.

Fortunately, Sarah and Casey have managed to figure out what floor Chuck is being held on and have taken out the guard. They crash through the door with guns blazing. La Ciudad makes an exit -- through the window of Doucheball's room while he is panicking on the phone telling "Shelly" they know everything. They even know about the Cayman! As La Ciudad crashes through the window, Doucheball drops to the ground and surrenders. Casey and Sarah finish shooting everyone in the room, knocking one guy over the balcony and further scaring Doucheball. Sarah runs to Chuck, who is still tied to the chair, and asks if he is okay. He points out that he is tied to a chair, and in just a few more minutes, he would have been dead. He demands to know where they were, but Casey ignores him and points out that he is still alive and should consider himself lucky. Just then, a giant anvil falls on his head and kills him. Bummer! La Ciudad marches down the hallway with Chuck's Buy More ID card in her hand. She is definitely going to kill him. Kill him! And I don't think she means with kindness.

Chuck makes his way home and walks in to find Elie asleep on the couch. He covers her with a blanket, and she wakes up and wants to talk about Chuck's relationship. God, if that is what sisters are like, I am so glad all I have are brothers. Chuck says that Sarah is very beautiful and very agile. Elie is not sure how that applies. Heh. Chuck goes on to say that Sarah is exhausting. Ooh, harsh! He is not sure he has the energy for it. Captain Awesome comes in and asks if Chuck tangoed and if he used the famous dip. Chuck explains that he was on the receiving end of that dip, because the chucklehead taught him the girl's part of the dance. Elie is still whining that Chuck won't talk to her. Chuck is far more patient than I would be. Ugh, if she were my sister, I would totally flick her in the head and tell her to leave me alone, and then I'd go write nasty things about her in my blog. She sighs and says that if Chuck won't talk to her, he should talk to his idiot friend, who has called about forty-five times because he locked himself in the storage locker.

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Chuck

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