City of Angels

Episode Report Card
Omar G: D | 587 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Cry Me A Liver

Turner is back in Malcom's room trying to extricate the elongated foot from his vocal orifice. He calls what's happening an administrative glitch while Malcolm and the male nurse play Tomb Raider. Only the sound coming from the TV is some weird crunchy noise, and I'm pretty sure that's not what Lara Croft's ass sounds like. The mother, who is smart and looks a little like Alfre Woodard, asks if it has anything to do with the killer who was brought in to the hospital. Turner confirms that the convict is the same blood type. "But he's a killer!" Malcom's dad says. Malcolm himself, who is as centered as a set of Microsoft Word page margins, asks if he should be worried. Turner says he thinks it'll be all right. "Okay then," Malcolm says, smiling. A tiny halo appears above his blessed skull and angels play harps. "You guys need to quit stressing," he tells his parents. "Dr. Ben Turner is on the case." A tiny halo appears over Turner's head, but it is quickly engulfed in flames and falls off.

Back at the county courthouse, Jackie Chiles, er, I mean Emerald Jordan, is putting questions to an expert in anesthesia. The man, who had a crude chart that says N.P.T. (Nocturnal Penile Tumescence, he informs us) is supposed to test for impotence, kind of like hooking up diodes to test a battery that can't achieve a copper-topped erection. Ordinarily, men get about five to six erections per night, as measured in the flow chart and depending on how recently they watched The Spice Channel. Carlton, the opposing side's lawyer, leans forward and watches intently, as if this whole presentation constitutes soft-core porn. The medical "expert" then shows Amos Sotheby's chart, which could double as a topographic map of Kansas. Nothing, nada. "No erections," the expert says, and Amos looks down, disappointed, like maybe he was expecting to see a chart showing a raging hard-on. The expert describes Amos as "absolutely totally (one hundred percent) not potent." Emerald Jordan says, "Mmm," and thinks, "I am so much more man." Heather asks the TV, "Sir, just how impotent are you?" On cross examination, the expert reveals that lack of sleep could have affected the No Penis Turgidness test. On redirect, the expert acknowledges that spinal injury could have caused Amos's lack of penile fortitude. Ron Harris looks really upset because this case just keeps getting harder and harder [insert punchline here].

City of Angels

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP