In the veterinary wing, Williams and Thelonius are taking care of Mike as Harris walks in and asks what the hell is going on. Except he doesn't say it that nicely. They tell him the dog needs emergency surgery. Price notes that if the health inspector comes in, the ER will be shut down. Harris tells her to keep the inspector occupied while he chews out these subordinates. Harris tells them to call the pound. They say that the dog will die. He says, "That makes it easy. Call the morgue." Harris must have been bitten by a dog as a child. Harris leaves. Williams and Thelonius exchange a sneaky look while the ER overcrowds with patients who need doctors.
Cut to the morgue where the dog savers are trying to talk the morgue attendant, Wendell, into helping them. Wendell, who almost got fired for storing a dead pig in the morgue a few weeks back, says he's not going to risk his job for an animal he can't eat. Wendell's assistant, the fiery Latina, says "Dios mio!" and coos when the dog licks her fingers. Wendell points out that she's been eating Cheetos. The three gang up on Wendell, who finally relents. Williams tells Thelonius to bring in all kinds of equipment. If the dog didn't have insurance, it would be costing him tens of thousands of dollars.
In a hospital room, Grace Patterson's dad is yelling at Dr. Weiss and a doctor who looks remarkably like Lawyer McShyster from a few weeks ago. Patterson is angry and hasn't signed the consent form because nobody will give him a guarantee against impotence. Doctor McShyster (I've surmised that they're related) says Patterson has nothing to worry about, even though it's two hours before surgery. Patterson is lobbying for radiation treatment instead of surgery because it's safer for his Johnson. Weiss says that radiation isn't as effective and the tumor may return down the road. Patterson is immovable. He wants a guarantee and Doctor McShyster can't give it to him. McShyster leaves, but says he can be paged if Patterson opts for the surgery. Weiss is left alone with Patterson wondering how he ever got in a situation of discussing his girlfriend's dad's erectile functioning. It's okay because Patterson throws him out. Fade to black and white as Patterson rolls over in bed, thinking about Viagra.
Whatever happened to that Listerine commercial guy who scared us with bleak visions of an alien landscape residing in our mouths? Maybe he died of a heart attack by creeping himself out.
Back at the hospital, Doctor McShyster tells Weiss that he's trying to be patient. Not a patient. Just patient. Weiss finds Grace in the waiting room. She can't believe her dad is being so difficult. Nurse Patterson's stepmom asks what's going on. Grace tells her. Stepmom says, "I think Geoffrey is working toward sainthood." Interesting irony: Papa Patterson's impotency may make it difficult for Weiss to get laid. Just sayin'.