Season finale time around Angels of Mercy hospital, and we've got a few questions:
Will Dr. Ben (Blair Underpants) Turner stick with Dr. Lilian (Vivica A. Fox) Price, despite her ability to roll her eyes at life-threatening velocities?
Will Ron Harris perform one final act of dapper suavitude -- one so stunning that he explodes into a massive white light of pure smoothness and becomes part of the cosmos?
Will Dr. Geoffrey Weiss leave the Beastie Boys to pursue a solo career?
Let's find out.
Previously on City of Cancellation -- er, I mean, "Angels": Hospital director Ed' O Malley, who resembles a full-grown Mickey Rooney with a moptop, got his face kicked in by thugs. He allowed only Dr. Turner treat him and then made a fuss about wanting to leave the hospital. Dr. Williams noticed that even though O'Malley got beat up and bloodied, his clothes were spotless. Dr. Vivian Price struck a deal with Ed O'Malley, and in the middle of a parking lot, he made an odd request: He asked for one of her shoes. "When you make a deal with the devil, you have to deal with the devil," he hissed, deliciously. She gave up her shoe and, with that, we end the Previouslys. Yeah, I know. Some weird crap is going down and a puffy pastry man named Ed O'Malley is behind it all.
The episode opens at night as Dr. Turner pulls into the driveway of a nice little estate. He is led upstairs by the big, mustachioed bodyguard who was O'Guarding O'Malley last week. The bodyguard, much more talkative this time, says he was supposed to pick up O'Malley, but the man won't come out of his bedroom. He also mentions that his doughy boss has been taking the pain medication Turner prescribed. And he hasn't been taking it in a responsible way, either. At the door, we hear "Cry Me a River" drifting out. Turner and the bodyguard knock on the door, asking O'Malley to respond. He doesn't. The bodyguard backs up and kicks the door open. (Turner, I should mention, is wearing a spiffy brown leather jacket. The bodyguard is wearing a big suit and shaggy hair. From behind, as they burst in, they look like they're starring in Yet Another 48 Hours.) The bedroom is a mess. Turner goes toward the music, opens the door to a second room and sees to the right a bunch of pills and a single brown pump -- the same one Dr. Price gave over a while back. Turner doesn't watch the previews before the episode, so he hasn't made the connection yet. Inside there are racks of women's shoes. Then lying there, crumpled, in a hideous frock-like blue dress and a blue and green scarf, is Ed O'Malley, done up in blotchy makeup and the same lipstick that Diane Ladd wore in Wild At Heart. Turner tells the bodyguard to call an ambulance and suggests that they get the man out of the dress. The bodyguard shuffles off, embarrassed. Turner tries to wake up O'Malley by holding up the man's head, but his hand sinks into a pile of skin and Turner doesn't have time to knead it into a firm loaf. We cut to the opening credits as O'Malley's head flops to the left, perhaps looking for some sort of reassurance that this was the right artistic acting choice. Sadly, he doesn't find it.