City of Angels
When Worlds Colitis

Episode Report Card
Omar G: D | Grade It Now!
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You Say Stomay-to, I Say Stoma-to

CAN the CBS network save its minority-friendly show from the brink of cancellation by scheduling a two-part, consecutive-night, back-to-back City of Angels double whammy starring gruff, yet craggy special guest Ossie Davis?

CAN Super-Suave Dapper Administrator Man Ron Harris amuse and frighten us at the same time with his sneaky, murderous shenanigans?

CAN Dr. Ben Turner (Blair Underpants, as his friends call him) work in a hospital that employs his current lover (Dr. "Va-va-va-Vivica" Price) as well as his former flame (Dr. Syphax)?

CAN it be that silly and often wuss-like Dr. Williams is crazy enough to ask Dr. Turner's old flame out on a date? Or could it be that he is the only sane person in an insane hospital drama?

Find out the answers to these and other damning questions on the first of a two-part City of Angels Recap-o-Rama!

Previously on "The Show that White Folks Love to Avoid Judging by the Ratings in Relation to its Lead-in, JAG": The ancient, yet fossil-like Dr. Fleischman was shown again pouring a vat of lubricant into his glove to perform a rectal exam. Yum. Future catfighters Dr. Lilian Price and Dr. Ana Syphax made nice before realizing that they were giving sweet love to the same man. Syphax broke up with Ben Turner when he realized he was still in love with Dr. Price.

The episode opens with the lame, Bruce Hornsby-inspired piano music that has replaced the previously unique, if not exactly inspired, gospel vocals. We fly over the Los Angeles cityscape (Most polite motto: "No, please allow us to pop a cap in your ass.") before settling on Turner and Price getting ready to board an elevator. They make steamy plans for that night despite a looming deadline he has on a medical writing assignment. Maybe he secretly writes recaps for ER to try to impress Wing Chun. Ana Syphax boards the elevator wearing a pastel green shirt and froofy Muppet hair. There is an awkward moment for the three of them. Dr. Fleischman asks them to hold the elevator as he scurries over, leaning precariously on his cane. Price says to Syphax, "That's a lovely necklace." Syphax responds awkwardly, "It was a, uh, gift." Dr. Turner wishes he could be anywhere else, like maybe Hell. Turner says to Fleischman, "Take your time," which he mishears as "Change of a dime?" The man is old. Got it. I'll jot that in my Day Runner under "Things to Remember." The elevator door closes on Fleischman's white coat and all of a sudden he is being pulled up the elevator door. He screams and everybody panics. It's because he's old, remember? I consult my Day Runner and it says, "Fleischman: He's old."

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City of Angels

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