Episode Report Card
admin: C+ | Grade It Now!
Right. "Countdown." When's the damn finale?

And we're back with Grasshoppah and Sloane, who, of course, greedily grabs the wooden container, which it turns out isn't wooden at all, but leather. Sloane unrolls it; inside is yet another Rambaldi document. Sloane turns away, reading it, as Grasshoppah looks on, wondering if he'll ever do anything with his career that doesn't involve showing up in robes and speaking in hesitant cryptic sentences.

Oops Center. NNNSA and Jack listen as Delta leader tells them they're packing up and heading home. The timer speeds past midnight. Crisis averted, right? NNNSA apparently thinks so. "Ohhhh," he says in relief, "I guess Rambaldi was wrong." Jack just glares at him. "Your jurisdiction just expired," he snits. "I'll have a jet standing by to take you back to Washington." Hee.

Grasshoppah's Garage Of Goofiness. Sloane continues to read the document, his face a roadmap of emotions. "Now you understand," says Grasshoppah. "Your journey has just begun." The camera pulls back out of the window and, as The Horns of Impending Doom bust over the soundtrack, we get a Hefty bag full of Gouda in the form of storm clouds forming over the mountains in the distance, complete with Lightning Flashes Of Terrible Things To Come.

Back in Cartagena, Syd and Dix move off somewhere, and Dix tells her he's sorry for having asked her to lie on his behalf. Syd says it's okay. Dix tells her about his time on the bridge, his voice full of emotion. He claims he heard a baby crying somewhere, and it made him stop and think about his babies and he just couldn't go through with the suicide. Turns out it wasn't a baby crying, it was just a tree branch bending in the wind. Yeah. Because that bridge was FULL of trees bending in the wind. Whatever. Syd launches herself into Dix's arms, and they embrace as Dix cries.

"Sweetie?" "Sniff. Yes, Izzy?" "Are you crying?" "Snurfle. No." "You are crying! Oh, potato pie, don't cry!" "I'M NOT. SNIFF. CRYING. SNUFFLE. SHUT UP." "Here, precious. Blow your nose on my feather boa." "But...but it's so pretty!" "That's alright, lamby. I have dozens more." "Thank you, Izzy. And tell Julio to get more vodka. This recap's almost over and I need to be drunker than I already am..."

Aretha sings us a groovy little song about how we're all she needs to get by as we check in with our resident lovebirds. Syd and Vaughn are enjoying some fro-yo on a bench in Griffith Park. Vaughn asks for a bite of Syd's. Hee. That's cute. Vaughn tells her that Dix is going to be okay, because he turned himself in for the whole test-messing incident and that matters to the CIA. Syd chooses this moment to tell Vaughn that she lied to him about not knowing that Dix tampered with his results. Forehead Wrinkle #1084 inserts itself near his left temple as Syd tells her boyfriend that, since her parents weren't around as she was growing up, she never had anyone to disappoint. "That's different now," she says. "I'm sorry." I'm sorry too, Syd. I'm sorry that you weren't worried about disappointing Dead Danny. Or Dixon. Or Francie. Or Will. Guess none of those people were worth disappointing, huh? Only Vaughn's worth that.

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