Episode Report Card
admin: F | 1 USERS: C-
Sniff sniff. Do you smell ass?

Sark, dropping the British accent for the moment, asks Griffin what his name is. His accent, sort of a generic American one, is totally hilarious. Especially considering that David Anders is American and his British accent, while not altogether flawless (those are hard to come by in Hollywood, I've found), is certainly fairly well done. So his Brit-doing-an-American accent here is utterly priceless. And I'm marking this as the third high point in an otherwise dismal episode. As Sark talks to Griffin, Syd and Vaughn contemplate their next move. Yawn. Stretch. Sigh. Napping. I'm napping now.

Sark and Griffin keep talking, with Griffin looking increasingly nervous and agitated. However, this scene, while it's kind of funny and the accents from Sark (white-bread American) and Griffin (generic Slavic) are at times downright hilarious, is altogether totally unnecessary. I mean, except for the fact that in a minute or so, Syd and Vaughn are going to be captured and we'll wind up where we started this damn episode in the first place. Did I mention the napping? Sark is about to shoot Griffin when Syd and Vaughn appear, with Syd pressing a verrrrry sharp knife to Sark's groin. Heh. "Groin." I seriously am twelve years old.

There's a sort of impasse at this moment and some back-and-forth between all of them. Then the North Koreans show up and bring the whole party to an end. There's a totally gratuitous shot of Syd's knifepoint being shoved directly at Sark's crotch that I think was intended for all the Sark lovers out there. There's no other reason to put it in here. Griffin dumbly tries to get the hell outta there, which only serves to cause a scuffle between Sark, Syd, and Vaughn. Sark somehow escapes, and Syd, Vaughn, and Griffin are captured by the North Koreans. Yeah. The yawn is implied.

We thankfully go to commercial, which means that I only have about fifteen more minutes of this utter shite to recap.

We return to Isabella checking out Jack's knife wound. She says it isn't deep, but that the liver might be damaged. Jack's all, yeah, I was gonna say...I'll need you to check if the tissue's intact. Um, yuck. Also? If the wound's not that deep, how in the hell is she gonna check and see if the tissue's intact? What, is the liver now next to the second layer of epidermis or something? Or do I have my human anatomy incorrect here? I don't know why I'm even bothering to question this when Victor Garber's sporting a wife beater and a set of shoulders that are just begging to be cried upon. Or kissed profusely. Or, you know, whatever strikes your fancy. Huff huff, people.

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