Smallville
Crusade

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Down With Robot Clark

The evocatively named "U.S. Penitentiary." Inside, Lex is visiting dear old Papa Luthor. Lex has a bandage on his head. Lex marvels that his dad is in great shape. Papa Luthor is doing push-ups with his feet on a bench and his hands propped up on thick books. He's wearing a wife-beater and orange pants. And his hair is growing back. All in all, I'd say: Magnificent! Papa Luthor, who's supposed to be dying, instead pops to his feet and challenges Lex on that Forbes article. He points out that they called Mussolini a savior. Not on the cover of Forbes, they didn't. Papa Luthor looks a bit turtle-like with his new 'do. Lex blames his dad and his murder charge for LuthorCorp's woes. Papa Luthor counters that "gallivanting" around the world on a fool's journey won't help either. Papa Luthor's been keeping tabs. Lex asks how Papa Luthor broke into his jet at 20,000 feet. Papa Luthor notes that Lex looks pale. "Where is it?" Lex asks. Papa Luthor doesn't know what he's talking about. Lex tells a story: there are three relics hidden around the world by scientifically advanced ancient cultures. Wait, how did they communicate across the globe? Ancient Chinese Satellite Phones? Lex says that if those relics are united, they'll offer a library of knowledge. Wait, I've totally played this videogame before. Except the main character was a busty woman carrying two guns. Papa Luthor, who recently tried to re-animate corpses, says that Lex is living in a fairy tale. Lex says that Papa Luthor finances six expeditions himself for these objects. Papa Luthor plays it off. Lex asks if Papa thinks the artifacts can save his life. Papa Luthor says he doesn't have time for foolishness; he's about to stand trial for murder. He adds that when he's cleared, his enemies will feel his wrath. "Like Chloe did," Lex says. Papa Luthor says she was the victim of a tragic accident and didn't deserve to die. "But I did," Lex says. He asks if that's why his father poisoned his brandy. They start to bicker, Lex saying he lay there for ten minutes before an ambulance came. Lex says that the dosage would have killed an ordinary man. "But apparently I'm not ordinary," Lex says. Papa Luthor says, "No, you're not. You're my son." "God help me," Lex contributes. Lex advises that Papa Luthor shouldn't wound what he can't kill.

The Caves of Story Contrivance. Clark, wearing a black shirt, puts his hand on the cave wall's octagonal hole. It lights up immediately. It's been turned into a natural history museum's interactive exhibit. Clark puts his hand on it again and taps three buttons. Green, yellow, and red. It's Simon! All the symbols spin around. A wall moves, letting out white light. Clark walks toward it. He moves toward a flat surface with a giant round light on top. Clark puts the clear relic in the middle, where there's room for two more. Even brighter white light flashes.

We cut straight to Paris, where Lana awakens with a start in bed. Something is knocking on the door. The room is bathed in amber light. Lana, sweaty and naked, pulls a sheet over herself. She climbs out of bed in the nicest study abroad room in the history of the program. We pull back and see the charcoal sketch of the warrior princess propped up on an easel. The wind from the window is apparently incapable of knocking it down. Lana slowly goes to answer the door. She opens it a crack. It's just Jason. He says she was supposed to meet him. He asks if she's all right. Lana, shivering, says she doesn't know how she got there. She says she must have passed out. She closes the door after saying she'll meet him downstairs.

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