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Crush Girl Love Panic

Heylia's. The lady of the house is all done up in a plain, body-concealing white smock dress, her hair all tied up in a white scarf, as she serves a halal dinner to Joseph and Vaneeta. Joseph says he appreciates that Heylia is sensitive to his dietary laws, and she chuckles that it's fun. As he enthuses over the lamb chops, Vaneeta says she likes pork chops. Joseph condescendingly tells her that the pig is a filthy animal, which carries parasites, and Vaneeta, unconcerned, says that those parasites taste good to her. Joseph patronizes that he's just trying to educate her, but Vaneeta's not interested, and reminds him that this isn't Muslim school. Heylia warns her to pipe down, but Joseph says he'll talk to her. He tells Vaneeta that her hostility is obvious: "What's troubling you?" Vaneeta says she's not thrilled with him coming around with this "holier-than-thou bullshit." Heylia angrily reaches for a platter, trying to signal Vaneeta to shut it, but she persists: "'We don't eat this. We don't do that. We like our women dressed like fucking beekeepers.'" Heylia slams the bowl down, with a sharp look. Joseph, though, isn't done with Vaneeta, and even as Heylia frowns at him like he's overstepping his bounds, he tells Vaneeta that with her tattoos, her braids, and her pottymouth, it's no wonder her baby "has no father." "Fuck you, you bowtie-wearing motherfucker!" is Vaneeta's succinct rejoinder. Heylia asks both of them to stop so they can have a nice meal, but Joseph says that he's lost his appetite, and leaves, telling Heylia he'll call her. Once he's gone, Heylia throws down her napkin and asks if Vaneeta has any last words. Turns out she does: "Where the hell are you? You so busy finding fucking couscous on the internet, you ain't takin' care of your game! Conrad is never here no more, and business is off, and all you can think about is some fancy-preachin', pork-fearin' fat-ass." This sinks in a moment, and then Vaneeta adds that if Heylia plans to "drop out" and become a "'lee-lee'-shriekin' Muslim ladies," Vaneeta would like to know, so that she can get a babysitter, call Keeyon, and get business back on track. She stomps out, leaving Heylia to stand there in her wrongness and be wrong.

Okay, so here's where Yael kind of loses me, but only kind of. Back at her place, she throws Andy down on the bed and rips his pants off. Andy excitedly waits for whatever's coming next, particularly when Yael takes her skirt off and leans down, pulling a mysterious box out from under the bed. Andy's intrigued and titillated, until she pulls out a strap-on harness with an enormous black dildo attached to it. Andy's face falls as he asks if she thinks she can take it, but she coos, "It's not for me." Andy looks like he is still dreaming of a panic room as he notes that it's very big. Lubing it up, Yael tells him that it'll fit, and to quit being a pussy. Andy decides to make the best of it, going in for a kiss, but Yael flips him like a pancake and reminds him to breathe. Easier said than done when the head of that thing ends up banging into his diaphragm.

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