CSI: Miami
CSI: Miami

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 380 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Horrible Boor

Over on the banks of a sun-dappled canal, we're "treated" to nearly two full minutes of Sevilla watching a four-door sedan being pulled from the water. She's pensive. Or, like me, she could be listening to her fingernails grow. Eric "Token" Delko arrives and starts firing off shots of the dripping car. He briefly scans the ground and, noting the absence of skid marks, assumes that the car was pushed into the water. Or the driver fell asleep at the wheel and plowed into the creek. Or it's been so long since the car sank that any skid marks or tire tracks would have been obliterated by later traffic and rainfall. But don't mind me, Token. I'm just thinking out loud, here. A police diver who receives neither a name nor subsequent screentime in this episode heartily greets Token with a couple of jokingly snide remarks. They deduce that the car sank quickly, as the windows are wide open. We witness a brief dramatic reenactment of the car sinking quickly, because the windows are wide open, before Token grabs a screwdriver and mallet from his toolbox to jimmy the trunk's lock. The dank stench of putrescent flesh rolls out of the vehicle long before Token eases the trunk completely open. Token, Sevilla, and the nameless diver gag and cover their noses as the camera lingers on the bloated, waterlogged corpse within. Captain Nemo bolts to "secure the tow" while Token exposits that three or four weeks' worth of bacterial infestation have ballooned the corpse with rancid gas. I dare the producers to arrange for scratch-and-sniff inserts in major-market newspapers the days this show airs during the next sweeps period, so that CSI devotees can get the full Odorama experience in the comfort of their own homes come February. Sevilla, disgusted, guesses the corpse was the victim of a mob hit. Token points out that drugs might be involved. Captain Nemo inadvertently jostles the car while securing the tow line, and Water Boy's bloated remains explode. Token howls and bitches while flicking corpse bits off his arms. Sevilla, repulsed, turns on her headlights before turning away. Hey, watch it, lady! You could poke somebody's eyes out with those things.

CSI: Miami

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