CSI: Miami
CSI: Miami

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 395 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A Horrible Boor

Classroom Of The Damned. We get silent, poker-faced reaction shots of four students -- including Spineless and Smirky -- as Jo-Jo The Sack-Faced Boy informs all present that he'll be collecting DNA swabs from their cheeks. Without a warrant. Or probable cause. Or common sense. And despite the oncoming commercial break.

Marina. Intracoastal Waterway. Speedle. Oh, wait. That's not Speedle. That's one of Metzger's students, enduring a typically lackluster round of the third degree as administered by Jo-Jo The Sack-Faced Boy. Seems this particular student's illegally-obtained DNA sample matches the blood found on Speedle's scraps of fabric, and he was heard to threaten the professor's life on three separate occasions. "Ned" explains that he fell prey to one of Metzger's sadistic class-participation schemes -- a "mock lynching" in which he was the victim and his classmates the howling mob. We see during the black-and-white flashback of the event in question that Ned's shirt matches the pattern of Speedle's crime-scene cloth. We also receive an explanation for the presence of Ned's blood. Upon Metzger's command, Ned's classmates tore his clothes from his body, scratching open his skin with their fingernails. There's no way that sadistic asswipe would ever have received tenure. Nope. Not as an anthropology professor. Not buying it. Then again, this is Cacaesthesia University we're talking about, so maybe they award tenure differently down there. Ned attempts to justify his experience by noting that Metzger set the whole thing up to demonstrate how "normal people follow social norms." "Like the Stanford Experiment?" Jo-Jo The Sack-Faced Boy asks. Um. No. Not much like the Stanford Experiment at all. Moron. (And many thanks to tv_or_not_tv for providing that link in the forums.) Aside from the fact that Professors Metzger and Zimbardo both appear to be ivory tower idiots of the most egregious sort, the two "experiments" seem to have nothing in common at all. So once again: Shut up, Horatio. The only other item of note in this scene is that Ned's suffering from some severe residual psychological distress as a result of his experiences, but it's pretty clear he's not responsible for Metzger's death. Oh, and Jo-Jo The Sack-Faced Boy gets the last line. Like you were even wondering about that one.

CSI: Miami

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