CSI: Miami
Body Count

Episode Report Card
Sobell: D+ | 1 USERS: A+
Jail's Out For Summer!

Anyway, (Y)Elena has discovered miraculously preserved footsteps and the drag marks from a shovel. We see the flashback of Stewart walking Emma along while he holds said shovel, and keeping her in line with Really Intense Looks. Horatio proves that his brilliant deductive mind is at work when he states, "He's going to bury her." With a shovel? No!

We cut ever-so-briefly to Hagen hunkering down to keep a vigil for Calleigh all night.

Horatio's running through dense fields with puny flashlights -- gosh, why don't they use the ones that are currently keeping the RV under surveillance? -- until Horatio detects the unconscious Emma under some foliage. Cue him screaming, "Emma? Emma? She's aliiiiiiive! She's aliiiiiiive!" Off in a different part of the show, (Y)Elena turns around, wearing the "Is there no miracle Horatio can't perform?" face.

Meanwhile, Hagen wakes with a start and notes that -- surprise, surprise -- he's in the final scenes of She Confronted The Killer Perp Alone: The Calleigh Duquesne Story. We find out that Calleigh popped out about an hour ago once she found out that the lubricant was the A-1 Dependable brand. In the words of the tech, "[Calleigh] took off like a bat out of Hell."

Let us hope she didn't end up in a Meat Loaf video. And now, the final moments of She's Gun-Toting Southern Woman And All That Implies: The Calleigh Duquesne Story. Calleigh's in the middle of a gun store, asking the indifferent guy behind the counter if he carries A-1 Dependable brand gun lubricant. He's all, "No." Calleigh gets all chatty with, "Really? Now that's funny, 'cause it's this old-school lubricant that my daddy used to use, and I distinctly remember y'all [being] the only store in Miami that carried it." Either she's here because she knows every gun store in Miami like the back of her hand, or she's making this story up, and we have no way of finding out which it is. The guy behind the counter's all, "You remembered wrong." Calleigh tries again, this time whipping out a picture of Hank after we all get an eyeful of her holster. Cut to the shop owner getting all evasive and looking down a specific aisle before he waffles. Calleigh's got no pity: "Well, that's too bad. Because now I'm going to have to come back with an ATF agent and shut you down for a few days." Why? Because he didn't answer a direct question? Is she threatening him? Doesn't that constitute an abuse of power? She finishes, "I guarantee you, you're gonna remember that." Cue Hank, popping up into view like a prairie dog. Calleigh discreetly reaches for her gun, the better to play Whack-A-Con. The agent's all, "Please? I don't want to get into any trouble." Still keeping her eye on Hank, Calleigh replies, "Why don't you just tell me what aisle it's on?" She pulls out the gun and heads for aisle four, keeping an eye on the security mirror that shows Hank's every move. Calleigh pulls her gun, and it occurs to Hank that maybe he can check the security mirror too. He sees her moving and pulls his gun where he thinks she's going to be, conveniently forgetting that the mirrors are typically flipped by 180 degrees, so she is, in fact, behind him. He finds this out when Calleigh presses her piece to his temple and commands, "Drop the gun, down on the floor." Before he makes a move, she commands, "Uh-uh. There are two ways this goes down. Either way, you're dropping the gun." Hank points out, "If I give up now, I go to the chair." Calleigh replies, "Ten years of appeals, or you can go right now." Hank drops the gun. Calleigh twists the barrel of hers against his temple and asks, "How's it feel?"

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CSI: Miami




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