CSI: Miami
Body Count

Episode Report Card
Sobell: D+ | 1 USERS: A+
Jail's Out For Summer!

And then we all stop to admire the mermaids gamboling in the azure depths of aquarium, since it's obvious this episode has moved from any world grounded in reality and headed straight for a magical land far away. Look for Calleigh to ride by on her special friend Hawthorne The Unicorne, who is her slave, who she also loves. And then Speedle will show up in a suit of armor and fight an enchanted dragon, and Delko will trip along wielding his magic sword. I mean -- come on! In the time it took this clown to find out about the field trip and whip up a uniform, he could have driven that RV to a country which doesn't extradite American felons.

Anyway, yes, Stewart is in uniform at the aquarium and stalking Robin. He then turns around and notices Horatio watching him. Horatio's not actually moving to apprehend him or anything, electing instead to just glower. No doubt there's supposed to be some predator/prey thing based on the attention the camera just paid to the shark in the tank, but things are already short-circuiting in my brain from the logical conundrums this episode has presented, and so all I can do is watch as Stewart registers Horatio, then notices (Y)Elena on the other side of his escape route. So he does the predictable: picks up a kid as a hostage and makes for a balcony, all the better to have a dramatic confrontation with Horatio.

Stewart runs up some stairs -- hard to do with a kid under one arm -- and reaches said balcony. Horatio pops up to helpfully point out, "No way out, Stewart. Let her go." Stewart threatens to kill the girl, which does nothing to increase his leverage with Horatio. Horatio tells him, "I'm not going to ask you again. Let her go." Stewart replies, "I love them. I can't do without them." Horatio fails to come around to Stewart's point of view. Just as Stewart makes to throw Robyn off the balcony, Horatio shoots him with such force that Stewart goes rocketing over the edge instead.

There he hangs, dangling in the breeze. After Horatio makes sure Robyn -- who looks pretty mature for a six-year-old -- is okay, and sends her running in the opposite direction, he pulls Stewart up. Stewart's all, "Let me go." Horatio replies, "I wish I could." "I'll just get another one," Stewart replies, with something like despair. Horatio pulls. There's some dramatic back-and-forth, Stewart's up and over, Horatio tackles him and pins him down, and Stewart moans, "Why didn't you let me die?" "Because you died a long time ago," Horatio says. Ah, so he's familiar with Canto 33 of The Inferno, where Dante explains how someone can die and still walk the earth. Or maybe he just gets off on the idea of this guy suffering until he goes to the chair. After (Y)Elena arrests him, Stewart warns, "I will get out. It's my nature." Horatio replies, "And I'll be waiting. It's my nature."

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CSI: Miami




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