CSI: Miami

Episode Report Card
Sobell: D+ | 1 USERS: A+
There are no other cases in Miami today...or tomorrow

Then there's an interrogation scene, which is so brief and laughable as to not be worth recounting here. Horatio's predictably disgusted by Stewart's pornography stash, and then blames the whole child-molestation thing on it with, "It's my guess you couldn't come by the real thing, and so you put on your phony uniform and went trolling for a little girl." Well, yeah, pretty much. Any other questions? No. Stewart attempts to demonstrate the depths of his pathology with "she was flirting with me," but given that this guy's gotten all of thirty second's screen time, it's hardly got any plausibility, and therefore, no impact. Meanwhile, that damn boy soprano just keeps carrying on. Horatio then brings out the anaphylactic shock rap (which is as wrong now as it was half an hour ago), and Stewart admits that he's miffed Ruthie had the appalling bad grace to die before he could kill her. Horatio tells him, "Life, Stewart, is filled with disappointment." God knows that gets brought back to me with gale force every Monday at 10 PM.

In the closing minutes, we see Alexx on the floor, reading Hansel and Gretel -- a tale about child abduction and murder, natch -- to her two children. As she's reading, she notices that her daughter has the same type of kiddie Band-Aid on her hand as Ruthie had on hers, and Alexx loses her composure. She stops for a moment to cuddle her children, then says haltingly, "I want to talk to you guys about bad people..." The camera pulls back on Alexx collecting herself and straightening up before continuing her thoughts. It's a great scene for Khandi Alexander, and a wonderful way to end the episode.

EXCEPT THAT THE EPISODE ISN'T OVER! Argh! In what qualifies as the creepiest scene of the night, Horatio's dressed all in black, watching children play in a park. You can practically hear him thinking, I will protect you, children. You are all my little lambs, so vulnerable, and I will protect yoooooooou. Don't be afraid of the lurking man on the bench. He's here for yoooooou. And that's how the episode ends: with an emotionally disturbed man scoping out children in a park.

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CSI: Miami




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