CSI: Miami
Dead Woman Walking

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now!
Erin Crockovich

That's evidently the Eureka! moment, because the next thing we see is Horatio charging down the hall, Calleigh on one side and Delko on the other. Horatio tells Calleigh to check Risher's medical records for all farsighted employees, and dispatches Delko to begin taking employee swabs. Delko points out that they have nothing to compare it to, but Horatio's all, "I think I know where to look." The location in question happens to be Carl's fingernails. Alexx comments that it should be safe to handle him now that the radiation has reached its half-life, and slices open the Cerrobend. "I have no idea if the lead is compromising the epithelials," she warns, after failing to impress upon Horatio what a long shot this is. Then she does manage to get some skin out, which she hands over to Horatio just as Calleigh comes in to announce that only fourteen employees at Risher are farsighted. "Only one has this DNA, though," Horatio announces delightedly. The sample is sequenced and matched in the time it takes me to type this sentence.

The next thing we see is the receptoid -- named Parker Boyd, by the way -- going into blind panic mode when we hear Horatio bellow from off-screen, "Miami-Dade police! Get out of the way, please!" That panic evidently includes trying to delete a folder on his work computer titled "B.K.," and shortly after Boyd clicks the menu option, Vin Ethanol sprints over to arrest him. Boyd insists that it's private property -- true in the sense that the computer belongs to Risher, but warrants are easy enough to come by, and files are more than easy enough to recover -- and Vin reads Boyd his rights as Horatio watches picture upon picture of Belle flicker up on the screen, then vanish. It's all very metaphorical, and he watches, riveted, while shot after shot of Belle reading, feeding her chickens, or watering her lawn is deleted. At the end of the task, a window pops up reading, "Deletion completed," and Horatio stands nailed to the spot. So do I, but that's because a giant anvil labelled "metaphor" is on top of my foot and I can't move.

And now, the compulsory confession scene. After a brief back-and-forth about DNA, Horatio notes, "It's an exciting field, but we're not here to talk about that, Parker. We're here to talk about the night you got mugged while planning your own murder." We go into another flashback with Carl shrieking, "What's this? Some grade-A smack?" and then Parker Boyd tells us that he handed over the money from the Risher coffee urn and "he wouldn't back off. Self-defense." Vin Ethanol's not buying that at all. He says, "You were trying to defend the other four syringes of iodine 131. Snapped his neck, left the money and took your syringes over to Belle's." We see Boyd snapping Carl's neck -- as improbable as it seems -- and then we're back in the present, where Horatio is asking, "Do you have a crush on Belle? Because, see, once we do a full handwriting analysis, I'm certain we're going to get a match between your office stationary and the anonymous flower card."

Boyd shakily replies, "She, uh, tricked me into doing things for her." We see evidence of this flagrant trickery in the form of Belle being courteous and grateful when Boyd hands over something. Horatio asks, "Things like breaking into Risher to gather evidence, that kind of thing?" And then we see Boyd breaking in to get photographic evidence for Belle. Boyd claims, "She pretended to like me to get what she wanted. I told her how I felt about her, and she just cares about sick people." Horatio digests this: "Just cared about sick people, so you spiked her orange juice to get her attention?" Boyd points out, "I loved her." "Enough to love her to death?" Horatio asks. We get a flashback of him creeping up to the house ninja-style to spike the OJ. Boyd explains his reasoning: if Belle was dead, then he could forget about her. That's the lousiest reaction to rejection ever. Horatio agrees: "Well, it is a plan. But it didn't turn out that way, did it? You'll have the next fifty years in a six-by-six cell to work on it." Boyd looks shocked that Horatio doesn't understand. His attorney's going to plead insanity for sure.

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CSI: Miami




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