After taking a moment to learn a little bit more about our advertisers' find products and/or services, we return to the adult bookstore, where Horatio and Alexx are poking around the body. "Sharp force injuries," Alexx says. "Three knife strikes through the door," Horatio responds -- in addition to helping various widows through their grief, he must be our autopsy-jargon-to-English translator for the night. Alexx points out that there are only two knife wounds in the body; Horatio counters that those two were apparently enough to get the job done. As Horatio and Alexx chat amicably about the victim's ID -- "nothing out of the ordinary...so far," Alexx offers -- the coroner notes that our murder victim had bad teeth. Thankfully, she does not tap into those creepy conversing-with-the-recently-deceased powers to taunt the poor fellow about his substandard dental work. "He looks Eastern European to me," Horatio offers. Yeah, well, you look like a pasty-faced jackass to me, but you don't hear me jumping to conclusions. You pasty-faced jackass. Alexx dashes off to the autopsy bay to find out more about how our victim wound up in the Great Peepshow Booth in the Sky, so we cut over to Calleigh, wielding an impressive band saw, while a man we can only presume to be the proprietor of the dirty bookstore looks on and leers. "You ever seen that video Sexy Guns, Sexy Girls?" he asks in quite possibly the most awkward conversation-starter this side of "You have an interesting bone structure." "If you go into a booth with that saw, you don't even have to take your clothes off. You'd make a fortune in tips." I'm just out of touch with what appeals to people's prurient interests these days, I suppose. Calleigh is equally nonplussed. "You're standing in my crime scene," she says, and that probably would have sounded cool and hard-bitten if it hadn't been delivered in Emily Procter's emotionally vacant chirp. I should probably pause for a moment here and confess that I don't care much for Emily Procter's acting ability -- not here, not in The West Wing, not even in The Dukes of Hazzard: Reunion! For the remainder of this recap, I will try to keep my searing hatred in check, since I'm sure plenty of people find her wooden performances to be absolutely delightful. I guess that's why clothes come in so many shapes and styles -- because other people have lousy taste.
Episode Report CardMr. Sobell: C+ | 1406 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT