CSI: Miami
Evidence Of Things Unseen

Episode Report Card
Mr. Sobell: C | Grade It Now!
Suffer Not The Strippers To Come Unto Me

Back at the lab, Calleigh is declaiming the impressive amounts of semen she found at the houseboat. "Sheets, towels, comforters, bedside, and lampshade," she says. Kitchen appliances, light fixtures, copper plumbing, fine china, I continue, because I'm infantile. "Multiple donors, including the husband," Calleigh adds, which is a nice way of saying that Amy was popular with the fellas. And quite possibly some of the ladies. As for the swath of carpeting in front of the bed, only one person sowed his seed -- and it wasn't Rick Breck. "And the volume was more than the average ejaculate," Calleigh offers, just in case you aren't squicked out enough by this topic of conversation. "So a repeat visitor," Horatio says. Or someone who ate a lot oysters and peanut butter. Bottom line: in addition to her skyrocketing career at the peepshow, Amy was an aggressive freelancer, bringing customers from her day job over to the houseboat for some private sessions. Calleigh's off to the peepshow to see if anyone there recognizes Miami's horniest zookeeper.

Back at the adult bookstore/peepshow, techno music plays (for those of you who care about such things, it's "Who Made The Egg Salad Sandwich" by Five Neat Guys) as Nameless Cop and Calleigh pass around Infante's photo. The establishment's owner violates The Pornographer's Code by identifying Infante. What a violation of the trust a man places in his smut peddler -- you can rest assured that I...er, "my friend" would never patronize an establishment that has so little regard for pornographer-patron confidentiality.

Speedle's still listening to the phone message tape. That boy needs a new hobby. He theorizes that the troublesome clicking noise is coming from within the car. Delko, who's only enabling Speedle's madness, wonders if the noise is Amy popping her gum. Speedle dismisses this theory as the ramblings of a fool. "Maybe she's putting something in her purse," Delko offers. "Maybe you're not taking this seriously enough," Speedle screeches as he smashes a cup of coffee against Delko's head. No -- that's in the director's cut. In the actual episode, Delko and Speedle are interrupted by Horatio pounding on the door, who tells them what we already learned a scene ago -- that Infante was a semi-regular at the peepshow. And more important, that his dancer of choice was Amy. Oh, but how to determine if Infante is the one responsible for the carpet-cleaning nightmare over at the Breck houseboat? By tracking down his stolen car via its theft-deterrent device and pulling the necessary DNA sample from there, of course. Silly viewer -- Horatio has an answer for everything.

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CSI: Miami




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