CSI: Miami
Evidence Of Things Unseen

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Mr. Sobell: C | Grade It Now!
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Suffer Not The Strippers To Come Unto Me

As we pan across the Miami skyline at night, a lone guitar plays -- I think it's Benny Goodlicks with his haunting solo "End Of The Show Blues." At a peepshow booth, the barrier lifts up to reveal...Horatio. Could we finally be seeing a new wrinkle to this staid, one-note character? A little bit of deviant behavior or character flaw to help flesh out what, up until now, has been a painfully uninteresting performance? Nope. Horatio's back at the peepshow to scare some poor stripper straight. He drops a couple of c-notes into the booth's slot. "Well, what do you want for this?" she asks our non-hero seductively. "I want you to take the rest of the day off," he smarms. Why? If she works the rest of her shift, she gets her regular take-home pay plus the $200 you've just foolishly given her. "What about tomorrow?" the stripper asks. "Tomorrow is what you make of it," Horatio says, lending credence to the theory that CSI Miami's writing staff has resorted to lifting aphorisms off of Hallmark greeting cards. Horatio leaves the booth and walks down a hallway lined with strippers, all of them giving him looks like, "Did you bring enough c-notes for everyone, cowboy?" Horatio turns and looks back as if to say, "There's so many of them. I can't save them all. Oh, cruel God in heaven, why I am saddled with this accursed empathy?" Then he buys a copy of Gigantic Asses Monthly and saunters off into the night.

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CSI: Miami

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