CSI: Miami
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Episode Report Card
Sobell: C+ | 5 USERS: A-
Horatio Caine, Judge and Jury

With much wincing, Danny pulls out some hair. Horatio then asks if they're going to find his fingerprints at the crime scene. Danny says he was at Thomas's house a few days ago, but didn't kill him. "Convince me," Horatio spits. Danny recalls their confrontation -- he was under the impression that his not ratting out Thomas deserved remuneration, Thomas felt otherwise. "You figure he still owed you," Horatio says. "He did owe me," Danny says. "So you killed him," Horatio concludes. Wuh? Horatio didn't even make a logical leap there; he conducted the metaphorical equivalent of launching himself off a trampoline in a low-gravity environment and seeing where he landed. ["Don't give the writers any ideas. The last thing we need is footage of Caruso in the Jupiter Jump." -- Sars] Danny rolls his eyes, and Horatio clarifies, "Not two days ago -- last night." Danny points out that he was working last night; Horatio promises to check out his alibi, and then not apologize for his behavior when it turns out he's wrong. Then he asks, "What was Mr. Carpenter into?" Naked swimming, wristwatches...oh. Danny replies, "I dunno. Some scam. He said it was foolproof, he had been into it for about a year. Look, he didn't get into the details because he got pissed off at me and kicked me out. That was two days ago." Horatio, angry because he turned out to be wrong about the Danny-killed-Thomas thing, brings down the full wrath of the law on Danny's head by pointing out that he violated the terms of his parole and turning him over to Vin Ethanol.

Then Horatio goes back to the Carpenter pad to check out more evidence. He notices a folded square of material sitting on a corner of a table stocked with expensive-looking candlesticks and statues. After Horatio picks up the paisley square, Speedle comes over and asks, "How much of this stuff did this guy rip off?" Horatio estimates that, given the size of the house, most of the items in it are stolen, including the big crystal vase inscribed, "Happy Anniversary, Erin. Love, Leonard." Horatio orders Speedle to bag that vase. Speedle then tells him there's no match between Danny's hair and the sample found on the bed. In the same tone of voice a normal person might use to say, "Maybe the Grays are coming to our home planet to kill us," Horatio comments, "Maybe he was telling the truth." Speedle then gets to the unpleasant part of his report, swallowing and "uh"-ing several times as he says, "I compared the swabs Alexx took of the victim's head wound and rectum. They both had rust, likely from a corroded iron pipe." Horatio says, "Okay, excellent," then bids Speedle to bag the paisley fabric sample. Vin Ethanol comes over to show Horatio "this diamond bracelet, worth about thirty grand. Stolen from a Judy Johnson three weeks ago. She also reported a 268." Horatio says, "A two-six-eight? So he's not just a B&E guy, he's a rapist too." Vin assures him, "It gets better." Horatio asks, "It gets better than a rapist being raped. How?" Vin tells him, "He wrapped electrical tape around her hands, ankles and mouth before he sodomized her. He also gagged her." Horatio concludes, "So someone used his own MO on him, didn't they?" "It makes for poetic justice," Vin opines. "It also makes Miss Johnson a suspect," Horatio shoots back. "Except she committed suicide one week after he raped her," says Vin. Well. Doesn't Horatio feel like an ass now? Of course not -- he figures her bereaved husband or boyfriend is now an appropriate guilt-crazed suspect. He's off to talk to the husband.

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CSI: Miami




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