CSI: Miami
Freaks And Tweaks

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C- | 1 USERS: A+
If He Only Had A Case

Just then, a single drop of liquid falls from the rafters on to Horatio's clothed arm. Naturally, he detects it. So Horatio looks up, notices some sweating plastic bottles, and interrupts Delko's kinky reverie -- this is when Delko picks up the box of porn to get a better look, and we hear a distinctive "click" and the whine of something warming up -- to tell him, "Eric, run."

Horatio hauls ass downstairs, bellowing for everyone to beat feet out of the building. It looks like Delko didn't have the presence of mind to bring the porn with him, since the camera is now giving us a long, lingering look at pictures of a scantily-clad woman in a variety of submissive poses. I love how this show manufactures excuses to pull out the prurient stuff. Anyway, the porn is about to be blown to kingdom come. Everyone sprints all slow-motion style, and then the building conveniently explodes. All the guys high-five on being faster than an extremely toxic and rapidly-reacting meth lab explosion. Well, maybe they do off-camera and away from the blast.

Judging from the credits, the explosion singed Roger Daltrey, because he's doing a little screaming of his own. I'm just curious to see whether Horatio's going to be called on the carpet for blowing up a crime scene; if there's some sort of explosions trend, there should certainly be a correlating disciplinary-hearing trend.

Once we're back from commercials, Speedle's sitting outside the smoking ruins where the barn once was, and Delko's kind of gaping at the damage. Neither one of them comments on how heartily tired they are of having fires break out wherever they go. Horatio comes over to hang out next to Delko and ask if he's okay. Naturally, Delko is. Horatio comments, "This comes under the heading of 'No crime scene is ever safe,' huh?" Delko considers that a lesson learned. Horatio continues, "The problem is that our murder scene has been compromised in a very big way." You think?

Meanwhile, in a plot across town, Calleigh's hopping out of her Humvee and asking Hagen, "Just you and me?" "I thought I'd start walking my own lonely road, since it appears to work so well with the chicks," Hagen shoots back. Oh, he does not either. He gives Calleigh a mock-outraged expression and pouts, "You sound disappointed." I would not be disappointed if I were to spend one-on-one time with Hagen; his anti-Horatio attitude was refreshingly different, and he's pretty easy on the eyes. Anyway, Hagen gives Calleigh the bullet: "Joe Family Man runs to the convenience store to get milk. He gets popped. No ID, no wallet. I figure robbery." Calleigh notes the up-close entrance wound and comments on how it seems kind of personal for a robbery. Hagen thought so too, so: "I had patrol canvass for a wallet. Found it over there in the trash. Cash, credit cards..." Calleigh finds a bullet in the pristine back seat of the SUV; she notes that she might be able to get a print off it, on account of it not currently being lodged inside the dead guy. Hagen doubts her: "Heat from the primer burns the prints off." Calleigh replies, "That's true, except this one is unspent, so it didn't go through the barrel. I guess the primer probably malfunctioned because of humidity, so when the firing pin hit it -- nothing. It was a dud." During the back-and-forth with these two, we see a TMICam shot of the shell being thwacked by a firing pin and starting its long, hot journey to the inside of center of someone else's body, and then we see the same thing happening, only the bullet not going anywhere. I still don't quite get the explanation -- for example, it's not immediately apparent what the primer is, so I don't get how it's burning things or malfunctioning -- but it's sufficiently jargon-y to gull the unwary into believing that this show is more than a typical, predictable cop show. Hagen, who appears to have developed some sort of infatuation with Calleigh in the last four minutes, smiles, "I stand corrected." Calleigh beams back and tells him that's what she likes about him. Aww -- the courtship dance of police department employees, performed in the springtime over rapidly cooling bodies, is a sight to stir the most hardened heart.

Then Calleigh gets a good look at the victim's face in the rearview mirror and gasps. It turns out she knows him. And how, you may ask, does she know him?

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CSI: Miami




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