CSI: Miami
Grave Young Men

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These Kids Today, With Their Guns and Corpses

Horatio then finds a stash and concludes, "Our friend Jeff is a stoner." Our friend Jeff is also jeopardizing his dad's parole, but we'll get into that later. The pot, by the way, looks like oregano. Delko concludes haughtily, "The father lied," conveniently forgetting whatever teenaged misdeeds he managed to get by his parents. The father may not have known his son was smoking, Delko -- did you ever think of that? Why else would an ex-con out on parole agree to let two cops search his son's room and find something that violates his parole if he didn't know it was there in the first place? I'm not even a cop, and I can figure that out. Horatio tells Delko, "Kids make excellent criminals -- they're sneaky." Don't forget remorseless and self-centered. Horatio muses, "Here's how it might have gone. Jeff sits up here at night in the dark without his dad being any the wiser." Then Horatio opens the latch on the bedroom window (what, no screens in Florida? I have a cousin and a sibling who both swear that 98 percent of the air they're breathing down there is made up of insects) and notices that Pete is apparently oblivious to both Jeff's smoking habit and his shooting-a-gun-into-the-backyard-tree habit. How can the neighbors not have noticed or complained? This plot has officially veered off the tracks, killed all innocent passengers and bystanders, and gone hurtling over a cliff to smash on the jagged rocks of improbability. I declare my interest in this outcome gone.

Horatio walks over to the tree, sticks a laser near it, determines the trajectory to indeed be consistent with the "Jeff shoots guns out the window of his well-kept suburban house and nobody notices" hypothesis, and then -- BAM! -- Calleigh appears. What, did Horatio say her name three times? Is there some magical incantation involving GSR and the sacrifice of a chicken? Whatever it is, it's unnerving having her just appear like that. And that's even before we get a gander at what she looks like today; fortunately, someone beat the wardrobe mistress into submission ("No wire hangers! No wire hangers!") so Calleigh actually looks like a career-oriented adult and not a pioneer-era forensics groupie. Calleigh comes over, dragging a man with a chainsaw, and the Lorax cries as a tree goes down for science. Horatio's work here is done; he tells us all where we're going next with, "Weed, bullets -- let's go over to Jeff's high school locker to see what other surprises he has for us." Delko points out, "School property. Could take a day to get permission. Red tape." Horatio orders, "Cut through it as fast as you can. And the same goes for this tree."

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CSI: Miami

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