CSI: Miami
Grave Young Men

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C | Grade It Now!
These Kids Today, With Their Guns and Corpses

Back at Rancho de la Rena, Alexx is staring down at the supine dead guy (still no name) when Speedle comes over to ask, "You're not going to move him?" "I think he's been moved enough," she snorts. I love me some snarky coroner. Alexx continues, "Dual lividity. Body laid on its stomach and then flipped over." Speedle suggests that the paramedics are culpable, but we all know that's not possible, since Hank the duplicitous body-moving bastard is still working in Las Vegas. Alexx refutes Speedle a moment later by pointing out, "He was on his stomach long enough for blood to settle. A couple of hours. Before that, he was dead on his back another couple hours. Something or someone moved him into secondary position." I should point out that Alexx's speech has been illustrated by a TMIcam showing blood settling in assorted places. Speedle muses, "Flip-flop usually means someone can't decide [whether] to call 911 or skip town."

And off Speedle goes to visit the someone in question. She's seated in a pose best described as "Whistler's Hooker." Speedle gazes upon Rena for a moment, then comes in to tell her that he'll need to swab under her fingernails. Rena rises and, after agreeing, asks why. Before Speedle answers, he checks out her cleavage and notices what look like tiny scrapes. As he begins working, there's some leaden banter not worth repeating here, and Rena says, "I might as well tell you, things got a little rough between Chuck and I sexually." Speedle's not exactly salivating at the news; he asks, "You saw me notice those scratches on your chest?" Rena replies, "He can get himself worked up." She's giving Speedle her bedroom eyes; Speedle looks up and gives her the same look he gives everyone else -- irritation mixed with impatience. He then tells Rena he's going to need to photograph those markings, which is her cue to get naked, the better to dazzle him with her presumably numerous charms.

Calleigh's studying a segment of the tree trunk she had the nameless tree surgeon (or would he be a tree euthanasiast?), and Delko comes over to ask her how it looks. "Like a starry, starry night," she replies. I didn't know she was a Van Gogh fan. Calleigh enumerates all the different types of ammo this poor tree had shot into it, then invites Delko inside. He replies, "I can't. I can't find another lead apron, and Calleigh isn't around." Aww. Delko's still worried that he's going to get his gonads fried on the job. Next thing you know, he'll be ducking out of assorted labs after he finds out that some DNA-processing reagents are tetragenic. Anyway, this whole scene is really a set-up for some Horatio gossip; if you can't have Horatio onscreen, talk about him, I guess. Delko asks Calleigh if she was working in CSI when Horatio's brother was killed. Calleigh name-checks Ray and tells us she had just started. So she's only been in CSI for two or three years? What about the others? And where are all the presumably experienced CSIs? Did they get packed off with Kim Delaney? Delko pokes around some more, saying, "I didn't realize his brother worked narco." They have got to come up with hipper police lingo -- Narco sounds like Falco's younger brother, who would have come up with "Break It Down, Rossini." Anyway, Calleigh says languidly, "Yeah, undercover narco cop gets killed in the line of duty, he might have been dirty, something like that." Delko emphasizes how he didn't say anything about the "dirty" part, and Calleigh replies, "Nobody ever does." Except Delko right then, who asks, "Was he dirty?" Calleigh gets all serious: "I don't know. I don't know what Raymond Caine was. I'm not entirely sure Horatio does either." Then she goes on to make wood pulp out of a formerly-thriving tree.

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CSI: Miami




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