CSI: Miami
Grave Young Men

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C | Grade It Now!
These Kids Today, With Their Guns and Corpses

Things do look good for Delko, however. He's analyzed the cruft from the sneaker treads and found a lot of organic matter, but low mineral content with the exception of the man-made mineral "Mastico," which is used to repair headstones. Delko puts forth, "I'm thinking Redeemer Cemetery. It's the oldest one in the county." It's also within walking distance of the high school.

Horatio's out at the cemetery with Tripp, who comments that the admittance window for these grounds was a little less than a hundred years, from 1868 to 1960. We get a few shots of the cemetery in full-blown Southern Gothic Disarray -- fecund foliage, artfully weathered headstones listing 30 degrees, an old woman wafting around a big hat and two acres of organza while she carries on about the night poor Willis Dean Dubois was shot defending her honor in a duel. Okay, so I made the last one up, but it wouldn't be out of place. Horatio smells decomp in the wind, and within seconds of sharing that observation with Tripp, they've found a body. There's an exit wound in the head, which Horatio finds by watching where the maggots go ("Sweet going in and ugly going out," says Tripp as the TMIcam backs him visually), and an entry wound in the back. Tripp concludes, "This was an ambush. So much for me saying he was in the Keys." Oh, just grovel before the awesome temple of Horatio's mind a little more. Go on. Horatio throws a bone by pointing out that this person could have been shot in the Keys, because the body's been moved, and then adds that this isn't Jeff. So now they're looking at another random dead teenager, connected only to the case by virtue of some cemetery dirt.

Within seconds, Alexx is on the scene and identifying Johnny Decomp at Mark Hubbard, born 1986, courtesy of his Antioch High library card. She then confirms that the body was moved, which suggests that Hank's recently taken his girlfriend to the Keys and done some recreational body-moving on the side. I'm sorry -- I'm never going to get tired of making that joke. Horatio asks Alexx to be pay extra attention to the fingernails during the postmortem. Calleigh's off hunting for bullets when Delko calls her to check out the mausoleum some punks have desecrated. Calleigh notes the high-velocity blood spatter, which suggests a gunshot, and then she notes the projectile. She, Horatio, and Delko reconstruct Mark's awful final moments and realize that there were three people in the mausoleum, not merely the shooter and the victim.

Meanwhile, Speedle's analyzing the pillow and coming up with a facial impression, which confirms that Chuck was smothered with a faceful of down. We quickly cut to Speedle sitting across from Rena in an interrogation room, sliding over a photo and explaining that what she's seeing is Chuck's DNA-confirmed saliva. Rena's all, "And?" and Speedle asks, with the air of a man about to lose his patience, "Did you press his face into the pillow, causing him to suffocate?" Rena pauses so she can think up a new lie, and finally hedges, "Yes, and no." Speedle warns her, and Rena continues, "You're so sure I'm guilty. I could see it when you walked through the door." Speedle's all ears if she's got an explanation to back that yes-or-no thing. She sure does: "Yes, I pressed his face into the pillow. No, I did not suffocate him. He did, however, orgasm." Speedle fidgets uncomfortably before saying, "Excuse me?" Rena sighs and says, "My marathon-running boyfriend was a pillow-biter. Satisfied?" She raises her eyebrows in such a way as to make me suspect that she and Speedle just had a conversation concerning her practice of sodomizing her boyfriend, network-standards-and-practices-style. Wait! We're still having the conversation. Rena continues, "He liked to give himself over to me. I could be more explicit." Speedle hastily assures her that there's no need. Rena estimates that there was some role-playing around 2 AM; then they drank some more and cuddled. Speedle gets up, and Rena's instantly solicitous. He tells her, "It's just that this job...uh, it's weird sometimes. You know, you learn certain things about people." Vin, meanwhile is watching in horror from outside the room, something that nobody misses. Nobody misses the little how-can-you-talk-to-her-without-me conversation that follows either. Speedle then wanders off, presumably to ask Alexx to check Chuck's body again to see if she can verify the suggestion Rena made about pillow-biting.

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CSI: Miami




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