CSI: Miami
Simple Man

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Lethal Politics

Things get even more tense for Calleigh when she attempts to fire the pistol and gets not one, but two misfires. She points out they can't get a test fire, "not with this weapon, and not with the amount of time we have left." Her Plan B is to hit the gun vault. Calleigh coos, "Be still my heart," as she enters the vault, picks out an appropriate firearm, then repairs to her lab bench where she mixes and matches parts from the guns until she's got one working weapon she can use to do a test-fire. A few bullets later, she seems satisfied.

In the next scene, we're back in the gray lounge with Horatio, getting the same aerial view we did at the beginning of the show, and Calleigh's coming in to tell Horatio that the same weapon killed Abby Sandoval and Bonita Cruz. Don the DA is not going to be too happy about this. Horatio, however, seems pleased. He rushes off after telling Calleigh, "Nice going." She sighs and replies, "Thank you," to the empty air.

Cut to the judge making Don a very unhappy man indeed. Galaz, who's sitting next to Mercedes, swaps glances with Lorenzo, and they all look very happy indeed. If that doesn't telegraph complicity and guilt, I don't know what does. Lorenzo wearing a t-shirt reading, "My wife helped me cover up this murder and all I got was this stupid shirt," maybe? The judge tells everyone that thanks to the exculpatory nature of the evidence the crime lab just presented, Lorenzo's free to continue his adulterous murder rampage. Horatio doesn't look too thrilled about this, but is no doubt girding himself by reminding himself that 'tis better to be righteous and unpopular than complicitous and a social butterfly. Don comes over to tear Horatio a new one, and the best Horatio can come back with is, "Once there's new evidence, you can re-file." Don shoots back, "Oh, you-you got the extra million bucks for the new trial?" No -- Horatio's done better than that -- "I'm about to bring you two defendants." "You do that," Don drawls sarcastically. I like Don. Don and John Hagen need to have their own show, CSI: Miami Don and John, where they try to solve crimes and are continually vexed by self-appointed arbiters of morality like Horatio. I would watch that show in a heartbeat. Meanwhile, Horatio can watch Mercedes get bussed by assorted supporters, then look nervous when she notices him watching her.

Moments later, a reporterbot is emoting at the camera, "In a stunning setback for Miami-Dade crime lab and the state attorney's office, real estate developer Lorenzo Escalante was released today after a mistrial was declared in the Abby Sandoval case…" The shot pulls back to show us Calleigh rubbing her forehead as she watches; next to her, Speedle groans, "I can't believe we're letting this jackass walk." Speedle would so be on CSI: Miami Don and John, just so he could call people jackasses on a weekly basis. Speedle adds that he sure hopes Sensei knows what he's doing. Delko's all, "You know what they say -- no guts, no glory. What else can you do if you want to catch the killer." Speedle thinks there are two killers. Delko takes that idea and runs with it: "Okay, say there are two killers. Explain the same fibers, the same murder weapon, the same taste for mojitos." Speedle can: "Apples and oranges. You got two fibers on Abby, and over fifty on Bonita. Abby's killer keeps the gun. Bonita's tosses it in the canal." Delko asks, "How did the second killer get their hands on the gun from the first murder?" Speedle shoots back, "You talking about the apple or the orange?" This is Calleigh's cue to groan, "Oh, dear God, I'm hungry." Speedle argues, "I'm just saying there's two killers out there." Fortunately for him, he said something Horatio agrees with at the exact moment that Horatio appears in the doorway, hovering like a creepy, silent ghost. Delko, however, is not privy to this information, and he plows on, "I'm just saying, the second killer couldn't possibly have all the details from the first murder." Cue Horatio: "Maybe he did. Maybe he did have the details, and that would make him a copycat, wouldn't it?" Maybe I'll begin ending all of my hypothetical statements with a reflexive inquiry; that would make me a copycat, wouldn't it? Anyway, everyone is stunned by this novel copycat theory.

Horatio gathers everyone around the car so they can put together how the copycat worked: advertise for a young, Latina housekeeper by offering top salary in a Spanish-only newspaper, using a disposable cell phone as the only point of contact. Then you select the victim by meeting with would-be candidates publicly; this way, the killer can assess their looks (they have to be pretty), and the victim thinks she's being safe. Once she's hired, the killer followed her in his (or her) vehicle, pulled her over, and shot her with the gun procured from the first murder. We'll return to how said gun is procured later; at this moment, we're working on the crime scene, namely how this copycat would have planted fibers, pushed the car into the canal, and thrown the gun in for the CSIs to find. Now that the brain trust has come up with that scenario, everyone who thinks they can identify who the copycat is can stop watching and spend those twenty minutes doing something else to redeem their lives; the rest of us can watch as Horatio and the Bob-White Club grope toward the final answer.

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CSI: Miami

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