CSI: Miami
Spring Break

Episode Report Card
Sobell: F | Grade It Now!
These Brazen Women Get What They Deserve

Meanwhile, back at the party, Ted the marketing weasel is busy spraying people with Madraca Tequila and bellowing about its party-friendly qualities. Speedle is well away from the party, processing another crime scene, when Horatio comes over. They discuss Amy a little bit, and then Speedle asks if Horatio got anything off her bites. Horatio tells him, "No. You know how bruises are." Speedle recites, "Blood rushes to the bites, swallows them, diffuses them, you can't get a match." Horatio adds angrily, "We're back to square one." Better not let Amy hear you say that. Speedle begs to differ; he holds in his hands a memory stick commonly found in video cameras. The two quickly conclude that the attacker could be on the camera.

B-plot time. Delko wanders into the lab area where Calleigh's working and tells her that according to the DNA-lab people, all four boys were sucking on that bong. Calleigh asks about the white specks in the bong chamber, and Delko tells her it was phlegm plus ACL. Calleigh's all, "Stomach acid. Who threw up?" Oh, who do you think? It was Trey. Calleigh figures the vomiting is a symptom of his aneurysm; Delko counters that the aneurysm could have been the result of a trauma. Calleigh asks, "You up for a dog-and-pony show?" Is Delko ever! He loves the circus.

Imagine how surprised he must be when he finds out Calleigh's referring to work. She's got Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest lined up, and she's telling him, "Here's what we know. Y'all were smoking out of the bong, and your friend Trey got very stoned. He vomited, and then he died." Delko adds, "So the question is, guys, did somebody force him to smoke?" What follows is an exchange so mind-bogglingly devoid of intelligence that recapping it would cause large portions of my brain to shut down in protest, so I'll make the summary quick: these clowns were doing something called "Bong Olympics," which is evidently an endurance contest based on how long someone can suck on the pipe and is in no way imbued with homoerotic symbolism. They claim that Trey got sick, so they took him to the roof and jumped with him into the pool, the better to clear his head. Calleigh and Delko aren't buying it for a moment.

In the A/V lab, a lab tech is pulling up the contents of the memory stick. While checking out footage of Amy and muttering about how Carson's got to be behind this, eagle-eyed Horatio spots a ghost image that turns out to be Tiffany. He asks if they can see more of Tiffany, and the tech's all, "Should be residual charge stored on the capacitor," which sounds suspiciously Trek-like, correct or no, and with that explanation tendered, we see Tiffany telling Carson, "I'm not going to show you that, okay? I'm a good girl." Carson's all, "Why don't you show us just how good you are?" Horatio says, "He's bird-dogging someone else without realizing it. Look at her eye line. She never looks at the camera." On-screen, Tiffy is deciding that her dignity can be easily exchanged for a free t-shirt. Horatio concludes that we're looking at the killer filming his selected victims, and "we're looking right through his eyes." On-screen, Tiffy charmingly blows a kiss and says, "I'm sorry, Mom and Dad." And it's all poignant. Because it's a message from beyond the grave, see? And it's subtle.

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CSI: Miami




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