CSI: Miami
Tinder Box

Episode Report Card
Sobell: F | Grade It Now!
Come On, Baby. Light My Fire.

Just then, Horatio's cell phone rings. On the other end, Tripp's telling him, "I've got a DB that needs your attention." Horatio protests that he's in the middle of something, but Tripp tells him, "Well, I've got orders to grab you, pull you off. Red-ball. High profile. You've been, um, requested." Horatio replies, "Political or judicial?" Why, it's both!

Cut to Horatio saying, "Your Honor, why don't you tell Me what happened?" Judge Chakotay -- nice to see that the Voyager crew reintegrated right into life on Earth when they got home; I hear that nice Seven of Nine is a teacher now -- says, "Her name's Jill Susan. She's a prostitute." Horatio nods as he mentally congratulates himself for handing that money and that lecture to the stripper a few months ago. Horatio asks, "Is your wife out of town?" Well, yes and no. Judge Chakotay points out that his wife died last year. Horatio judges the judge's grief and finds it wanting; he replies coldly, "I'm sorry to hear that." The judge elaborates, "I don't have time to wine and dine women. Jill comes once a week, same time. Spends the night. She got here right before 11:30. Usually by taxi. Tonight she drove herself. Car's in the driveway." Tripp excuses himself to go run registration on the BMW. The judge continues, "She seemed a little disoriented. Agitated. She asked if she could grab a shower. A few minutes later, I heard a loud noise. I ran in. She'd fallen. I turned off the water, called you guys." Judge Chakotay then wanders on over to Horatio and asks, "Can you help me? You know how this looks?" Horatio sanctimoniously replies, "I do. Let's see if Jill's body confirms your story."

Horatio heads into the enormous, well-appointed bathroom, where Alexx is already checking Jill out. The two living people in the room commiserate briefly. Alexx gets down to business: "No semen, no defensive wounds. She does have what appears to be a fracture to the frontal skull." We then get an aerial shot of the scene, lest the artfully displayed naked dead girl go to waste -- and how convenient is it that she happened to collapse and die in such a graceful and network-friendly posture? Horatio notices the blood on the faucet, and bloody mucus by the tiles on the floor of the shower. We get a flashback to Jill's death: in her violent coughing fit, she rocked forward, smacked her head on the faucet with a loud and juicy crunch, then collapsed. Alexx swabs Jill's gums to show him the soot there, and points out, "You get this from smoke inhalation." Faster than you or I can say "Contrived coincidence" or "Bring back Ben (sigh) Browder," Alexx and Horatio have concluded that Jill was at the club prior to her work appointment. Alexx explains, "Smoke inhalation's like a time-release bomb. You walk away thinking you're okay. Soon, you're not walking at all." Just in case we missed the crunch of skull against faucet ninety seconds ago, we see it again. Just as Horatio adds 15+1 to get a new body count, we find out that Jill's BMW is, in fact, registered to Quentin Haid. Horatio replies, "Let's impound that. All roads lead back to the club owner, don't they?"

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CSI: Miami




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