CSI: Miami
CSI: Miami

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C- | 296 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Take A Bite Out Of Crime

"Right there," as it turns out, is an area under a dock. Megan's plans for middle-management domination are foiled by Horatio's presence, but she gets a dead girl floating in an inner tube as a consolation prize. Alexx is already there, perched on the side of a life raft and snapping photographs. Horatio hunkers down and nails the girl's point of origin by noting, "Cyrillic lettering. The Russians have been forever dumping their second-rate surplus on their island friends." Does that surplus include all those gymnasts and ice skaters who fail to medal in the Olympics? Because I'd love to see that. Alexx tells everyone, "This girl's been shot in the leg. Very close to the femoral artery. Bled out." And yes, she did mispronounce femoral, but that's a small quibble relative to the others I will have about this episode. So long as I'm nitpicking, however, why is Alexx back in white? Doesn't she ever get unwanted blood stains on the job? We establish that there is no exit wound in the female bleeder, and that there is a tourniquet tied above the wound, which indicates that someone tried to save her. As Alexx cradles the body (in her white tank top, which is miraculously unspotted), she notes, "Injury like this, she would have been dead in under thirty minutes. There's no evidence of sunburn or exposure." There's also no evidence of shark-like snack attacks. I realize that not all sharks are scavengers, but nor are they late sleepers, and I find it hard to believe someone bleeding to death in the middle of the ocean wouldn't have attracted some attention, especially after that shark-cam close-up we got about fifteen minutes ago. I don't expect the episode to be an assiduously accurate representation of forensic science, but would it be too much to ask for consistency within the narrative premise for each episode? Would it? Does that go on the wish list along with Megan's transfer to Minneapolis for a third CSI spin-off? Anyway -- the finest minds in Miami/Dade deduce that the floating woman was on the drug boat that gave us corpselet #1. Then Horatio notices something around the girl's neck. Megan reads, "La Caridad del Cobre," which translates to "the Virgin of Charity." As Horatio notes, she is the patron saint of Cuba (declared so in 1916 by Pope Benedict). Megan tells us, "Families in Miami send them to their relatives [beat] as a good-luck piece for the journey." Horatio shows us what he thinks of religious icons by pointing out, "And that ninety miles of open ocean will take that luck away from you in two seconds." Megan's inspecting the medallion, and she notes that it's made by hand: "Old-school, with a palm-push graver." For those of us who don't spend our free time engraving, a palm-push graver consists of a point set into a wooden handle that fits neatly in your palm; the purpose of the tool is to give you control as you etch metal. We see this before Megan notes, "Tonal variations [beat], there's only one or two guys in Little Havana who do this bulino work." And again, for those of us who are not busy carving medallions in our spare time, bulino engraving is the practice of etching high-definition images via (you guessed it) a tool such as a palm-push graver. Horatio points out that the odds of a bulino engraver helping them out can be described in two ways -- slender or nonexistent.

CSI: Miami

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