CSI
A Night At The Movies

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Strangers On A Chorus Line

The camera then swoops to the perspective of the inside of the garage and the door slides up to reveal...The Young Turks! The cute one! The funny one! The mysterious one! The fat one! Or, left to right: Sara, Nicky, Warrick, and Buzz. We then switch to the Young Turks'-eye view: the walls are riddled with bullet holes, and a single body slumps on the floor. Cut to Nicky commenting, "Looks like a war zone." That was probably a much better line back when it was written, before we were all watching an actual war zone on CNN. Sara exhales in dismay at the sheer scale of the scene they've got to process. Then the Young Turks walk inside to get started. Warrick asks about ID; Buzz tells 'em the kid's got a driver's permit that names him as the fifteen-and-a-half-year-old Timmy McCallum. Tim-may! That name has been permanently warped for me by South Park. Warrick stares at the many, many spent shells on the floor and the thin trail of blood drops; he tells Buzz, "Tell [the coroner] to watch his step; there's casings and blood everywhere." Shouldn't that be "there are casings and blood everywhere"? I'm all for colloquial speech, but even casual conversations typically incorporate subject-verb agreement. Warrick then straightens up and looks at the slightly shocked Sara and Nicky. "Divide and conquer," he decrees. Sara calls outside perimeter. Nicky announces he's Dennis Rodman, then runs off to fetch his wedding dress. Well, he does say he's Dennis Rodman. What does that mean? He's going to be resentful of Michael Jordan? He's going to make the round mound of rebound look reticent by comparison? I have no idea. Warrick announces he'll take everything below the knees.

Back at the lab, Liam is telling Jacqui the print tech and Catherine, "The question isn't what we're going to find on your murder weapon. The question is what isn't on it." He holds out the tool for the two women -- and incidentally, why aren't there more regular chicks in the supporting cast? There's Bob, Archie, Hodges, Liam, and Emergency Backup David, but the distaff side is represented only by Jacqui and occasionally Leah the tattooed girl, and here I am getting all off track with my observation instead of focusing on the rare scene when an actual female lab tech is on the screen. Anyway, Catherine and Jacqui quickly identify soda and popcorn crumbs, Liam points out some carpet fibers, and Catherine sums up with, "It wasn't the cleanest theatre in the world; I just want to match some blood to our victim." Jacqui adds, "And you want to know if there's a recoverable print." Catherine does. Liam looks up at Jacqui and asks, "You want to race?" "What's the bet?" she shoots back. Catherine looks at Liam as if only now noticing that he's something of a goofball, and he smirks as the wager commences. Cue the montage wherein Jacqui fumes some prints off the screwdriver.

In another part of the lab, a computer screen spits out Sugarman's driver's license as Archie asks off-screen, "Is that our guy?" Gil gives him the look, and Archie realizes the answer's a resounding yes. Archie shares that the phone company unblocked all the private numbers for him, and Gil asks, "They can do that now?" Archie's thrilled to confirm that they can. Ha ha ha! It's funny when everything you do is logged in a database that someone can access any time they want! Archie and Gil go over the call log after Gil establishes that the movie started at 10:40 PM. Archie explains, "Last outgoing call your vic made was at 10:38 -- 555-0110. Twenty-six seconds." Gil figures that it's a no-answer call. Archie points out that 555-0110 is the same number that called three times in a row at 11:26, 11:27 and 11:28. Gil points out that Sugarman was already dead by then. Archie's astounded: "Dr. Robbins was that accurate with the T.O.D.?" Gil explains, "That's when the gunfire erupted." Archie's enthralled: "There was gunfire?" If Gil keeps this up, Archie will be nipping at his heels to go for walks outside the lab, just like Liam. Gil clarifies, "In the movie. I'll need an address on that number."

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