CSI

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C+ | 737 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
A sensitive look at weight in America

Just then, Brass appears to tell us that the last person to have Miller's ring was a guy named Kelvin Russell, who worked for the Vegas Sports Line (VSL). Nicky helpfully tells us, "They set the spread for almost every sports book in Vegas." Brass dons the mantle of Captain Exposition and upholds his sworn duty with, "If the vic worked for VSL, he's legally prohibited from sports gambling. I mean, that guy should be nowhere near a sports betting ticket."

Cut to what I presume is the VSL. Many sport- and bet-related things are going on, all of which made substantial parts of my brain recall, with great force and clarity, why I prefer to spend my time in Las Vegas playing blackjack and conducting extensive field work for my comprehensive study, "Which hotel spas provide the most value for the money?" Sports betting is just...not the activity for me. Anyway, we're witnessing the setting of a point spread as helmed by some middle-aged hustler, and Brass wanders in with Warrick to look for Kelvin Russell. Why ANYONE thinks it's a good idea for Warrick to be tromping through gambling organizations is one of the show's private mysteries. So, this modern day titan of point spreads says nobody's seen Kelvin in two weeks, so they've taken his absence as a sign that he wasn't too set on staying employed at VSL anyway. Brass and Warrick announce Kelvin's death with no small amount of mordant relish, and then begin the process of gathering statements from Kelvin's associates.

The first stop: Scotty Kerwin. Within mere seconds, we've established that Scotty and Kelvin were buds in the sense that Scotty was the only guy who didn't gag in distaste when he set eyes on Kelvin. The deceased was evidently something of a swollen ego -- "Kelvin's the new guy here and [head honcho] Mitch Urbana's the man." Oh, goody -- another workplace in which the tone is set by a macho pecking order. Why gung-ho primatology candidates don't just ditch the bonobo studies and spend their field time taking notes on these offices is beyond me. Anyway, we also establish that Scott has Tourette's. And then...oh, blah blah blah blah blah. The relevant thing in this scene is that the last time Scotty saw him alive was the day after the Duke-Louisville game, when he came into the office to gloat about how he called the game.

Back at other plot, Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three has finally found the bulletin board, and is telling the woman running it that he needs Maurice's messages. This woman's another stunner, as whomever cast these women evidently went on the "If we have to [gasp] show people whose dress size hits the double digits, let's make sure they're all striking" principle. She passes over a thick sheaf of messages and asks what happened; Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three breaks the news of Maurice's death. The woman says drily, "A few ladies here are going to be in mourning. He was popular. Don't know why...I guess some people like pigs."

CSI

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