Big Middle

Episode Report Card
Sobell: C | Grade It Now!
A sensitive look at weight in America

As the camera pans over to Maurice on the bed, we see a rather large, round, body-length damp splotch next to it. But that's not important right now. Gil wants Grasshopper, His Adopted Son Number Three to tell him about the body. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three says, "Well, uh, rigor mortis is settled, which means the body's been lying in position for a while. Pronounced petechiae on the chest from lack of oxygen. Guy was struggling to breathe, pressure built up, and he popped the blood vessels."

Gil looks at Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three. His boy wonder looks back at him. Gil looks at Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three again, then looks pointedly at the body. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three follows the Grissomian gaze and sees nothing. Gil gives an eloquent eye-roll, whips out his forceps with a rather snippy gesture, then extracts a thin purple filament from Maurice's lips. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three blusters, "Yeah, I saw that purple fiber. I was going to collect it, I was just gonna work on my own rhythm…" and trails off, all protests dissolving in the face of Gil's ineffable smugness. We soon establish that there's nothing purple nearby. Even if there was, it's doubtful Gil would notice it: he's distracted by the damage done to a nearby occasional table. "This table's cracked," he announces. Well, that happens occasionally. The table's also covered in semen. Again -- no warning about this prior to the episode. I suppose Man Juice is a sacred, beautiful vision in prime time, whereas a woman who enjoys a little something-something is profane in the eyes of Standards and Practices. Gil points this out to Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three in a tone that suggests that Grasshopper's furniture is also dripping with the stuff. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three is looking at the bed; he replies, "[I've found ejaculate] too. This guy was a machine." Gil can't stand someone else having the last word, so he adds, "And he got around." But he's thwarted by Grasshopper, who determines, "We want to see who came...and went." Gil is not amused.

And now, we go into the first montage of the night, where Sara gets to run an ALS over the hotel sheets and Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three. At the end of it, all we learn is that Maurice was always alone entering and leaving the elevator at his room; we're also waiting on Mia to process the semen on the sheet to determine if it was self-service, or a social deposit. Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three discounts that possibility: "No way. Soft porn couldn't crack that table." Yeah, but that table didn't look very sturdy. Sara adds, "If he had a partner, that would explain the unusually large sweat stain I found on the sheet." Grasshopper, Gil's Adopted Son Number Three poses the question: "No cell phone. No calls out. Always alone. Who was he with?"

And why does he perplex David the Dumsquizzled Coroner so much? Well, there's the eyes: Maurice has bulbar hemorrhages and petechial hemorrhaging, both of which indicate suffocation. Lividity's settled in the posterior area, which backs the position in which Maurice was found -- but why are there blanching patterns on the chest and thighs? Gil notes, "Blanching happens when something's pressed against the area, displacing the blood." David said, "I know what you're thinking, but the body wasn't moved. And these two lividity patterns, when taken together, are consistent with him being on his back. " Gil's all, "So you're telling me there was something on top of him? Compression asphyxia?" Ah, but it gets better. Whoever was on top of Maurice not only remained there for the 2-3 minutes it took to kill him, they hung out for another 8-10 hours until lividity set in. Gil says, "Well, whatever it was, it was gone when we got there." So Gil hasn't ruled out the possibility of a poltergeist, then?

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