CSI
Ch-Ch-Changes

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Boys Who Like Girls Who Are Boys

So Sara wanders into the bathroom, which has his-and-her sinks. Clearly, Wendy and Laner had their priorities in line. Wendy's staggering array of cosmetics is matched only by the staggering array of horse pills she's secreted in her medicine cabinet. There's a sticky note with instructions as to which pill to take when, but the name of each pill is omitted, lest fiancé be all, "Baby, why are you taking premarin?" And there's a second sticky note with the legend, "G-105. Section E. 21-33-14." Sara continues working the bathroom, finding a bloody maxi pad in plain view in the trash can. She looks a little thrown, and with good reason. Who in this house can be menstruating? I bet Mia's story is coming back to haunt her now.

She heads into the living room and softens Laner up by warning him she's about to ask a personal question. I would love it if she were all, "Are you...experiencing cramps? Bloating? The shedding of a uterine lining perhaps?" But we don't get any comically awkward moments. Instead, we find out that "we were an old-fashioned couple. Neither of us believed in premarital sexual relations. I mean, that's why I fell in love with her -- because of her traditional values." Gil looks like he's about to burst a gasket, and Sara is looking everywhere but at her coworkers. By the way, Sara's looking pretty foxy in this scene -- the makeup department finally stopped making her look as if she'd been exhumed just prior to shift check-in.

On the way out, Gil's commenting on Sara's Stay-Fresh discovery with, "This is confusing. She had her period. That's impossible -- no uterus, no period." Brass is more interested in exploring the ironic potential of the relationship: "So a guy desperate to change his sex hooks up with a guy desperate not to have any?" Brass is confusing celibacy with loss of libido; plenty of people would be happy to tell you they're not the same thing at all. Sara says, "I think we need to tell Mr. Laner the truth." "Are we sure he doesn't know?" Gil asks. Sara gives him a look like, And when would Mr. Wait Until The Wedding Night have had first-hand opportunity to find out?

After a brief commercial break, we're at the Tangiers, where the showgirls are dazzling the crowds. Gil and Catherine are heading backstage, and he asks her, "Did you ever see any transsexuals when you danced?" Catherine assures him, "Only civilians confuse stripper and showgirls. Can't cheat the full monty." She and Gil bop into the dressing room, where a bunch of women are stuffing their chests into bras designed to make their bosoms look as much like shelves as possible. Catherine makes a one-sided introduction and then breaks the news. The girls take it in remarkable stride, then school Catherine and Gil in how to deliver jaded lines with panache as they point out that many showgirls actually started life as showboys, and given the amount of plastic surgery any female needs to get a job prancing around Las Vegas in a bathing suit, who cares if it includes a "lop job" or not? I love these showgirls, and I want them around as a Greek chorus in every episode. The piece of information propelling us into the next scene? Anyone who wants really good transgender work done goes to Dr. Mercer.

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CSI

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