CSI

Episode Report Card
Sobell: A- | 1126 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
One tough mother

Sara continues to work the room. Using an ALS, she notices semen on the bed sheets. A quick check under the mattress reveals a stash of department-store ads in which little boys are modeling clothing. And this is how we conclude that Robbie's a homosexual pedophile.

And now it's time for us to meet Adam Trent, multiple suicide attempter. He's busy smirking at Gil. After Gil asks what's so amusing, Adam says, "So let's say you find out who did it. Maybe it's me. What are you going to do? Are you going to convict me of murder and put me in a bad place?" By the way, multiple-rapist Adam is also prone to delusions. Gil refuses to play the what-if game, and just asks, "Is it you?" Adam quips, "Check the files, sir. I'm a rapist, not a murderer."

Brass is now interviewing a scary-looking old guy who's fastened to the chair with padded leather cuffs. He's all, "Robert Garson?" This rings no bells for the taciturn Roman Golenski.

The pederast Charles Pellew is next up on Gil's docket. He responds to the question, "Do you know what happened to Robert Garson?" thusly: "Female pig relation hanged. It sped even. Well, too." Gil's all, "Come again?" Charles replies, "No…I ground it, blindly. Wet and dirty. Cut the blood oven. It spoke justly, repeatedly, calmly. Some thin rod dared your wash. They foretold this into some ready child, which fell crossly. They hag-rode me…again." Gil's wearing an expression like, "Well it's no wonder Chomsky ditched generative grammar for the transformational stuff. 'Colorless green ideas sleep furiously' has nothing on this."

And now, Brass gets to interview a racist. It's almost like watching Oz all over again. Naturally, Jake's been tagged as anti-social. The ritual murder rap probably didn't do much to convince the jury he was really a people person with an unfortunate, albeit talentless, bent toward performance art.

CSI

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