CSI
Committed

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One tough mother

The guard is truculent, but he isn't stupid, so Gil and Sara are happily poking around the nurse's effects within seconds. Sara's found the uneaten half of the photograph Creepy Nurse Joanne had taken from Robbie, and she comments, "It kind of looks like Adam." "Where would Robbie get a picture of Adam?" Gil asks. How about from Adam? Sara says as much. Then she turns over Creepy Nurse Joanne's heart-shaped paperweight; on the bottom, it reads "J+A." Gil then totally sets up the classic prelude to a horror movie massacre: "I'm going to go leave you alone in this loosely supervised hospital full of insane criminals." Sara is unconcerned by this.

And just as Gil waddles around the corner in pursuit of someone who can open a few drawers, Adam locks himself in the nurses' station with Sara and asks, "Are you a spiritual person?" This is either a prelude to being handed The Watchtower or getting a shiv between the shoulder blades. Sara concedes that she's intermittently spiritual. Adam asks, "Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? That bad things are there to teach a karmic lesson?" So he's a Calvinist? And Sara's learning that her coworker…is kind of inconveniently absent? Or is the lesson that this hospital sucks so badly, SOMEONE WHO CONFESSES TO KILLING A FELLOW PATIENT IS APPARENTLY ALLOWED TO ROAM AROUND UNSUPERVISED?

I mean, really. How am I supposed to take this scene seriously when this clearly dangerous patient is permitted to gambol through the corridors mere seconds after being all, "I killed my lover! Because I'm nuttier than a Pepperidge Farm gift basket!" and nobody seems to find this problematic? How am I supposed to believe that a rapist who's scaled the crime ladder to murder is wandering around and nobody at the hospital is alarmed by this? Least of all THE WOMAN WHO IS WORKING ALONE? Were the guards all replaced by documentary filmmaking students who decline to actually GUARD PATIENTS because it might compromise the artistic integrity of their film?

This scene has moved far beyond ridiculous. As has Adam who, instead of seizing the opportunity to rape and murder someone as is his wont, decides to blather on about how fucking special he is for a while Sara elects to fumble with a syringe instead of, oh, I don't know, UNCAPPING THE SAME TYPE OF ALARM THE AWESOMELY UNFLAPPABLE NANETTE BUSTED OUT A FEW SCENES AGO.

I mean, just when you think this scene couldn't get any stupider, it reaches a new low. After that hooyah in the beginning of the episode about security precautions, nobody's thought, "Gosh, we have a LONE WOMAN in a hospital packed with SEXUAL PREDATORS. Maybe we should, like, give her an alarm. And an escort. Who doesn't wander off to get keys"?

Anyway, after the usual fracas in which Sara loses the syringe full of whatever she was planning on plunging into Adam (of course), Adam's got a piece of pottery pressed to her neck and is threatening to kill her unless she continues to listen to his sophomoric ruminations on cosmic oneness and whatnot. Frankly, it's a toss-up as to what's more painful -- the shiv or the spiritual blather.

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CSI

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