Commercials. And every time I hit my TiVo's fast-forward button, I get a little more jealous of all the other recappers. Then I count up all the Emmys I've won (in my head I like to pretend that I get one too) and feel a little better about myself. But only a little.
We return to find Gil plotting out Linda's driving route on a map while Catherine examines the wreckage of the car. Gil doesn't understand how Rocky ended up on the side of the road, but Catherine has an easy answer for that one. "You ever have a car fight?" she asks. She then goes on to explain the dynamics of car fights, which are pretty much made obvious by the term "car fight." In a surprising display of stupidity for a man who'd have us believe he knows everything, Gil uses the phrase "begs the question" incorrectly when he wonders aloud why Linda would have been driving back in the other direction when Rocky got hit. Or maybe the stupidity isn't surprising, because Catherine now has to further explain that car fights always end with the person still in the car feeling guilty and driving back to pick up the person they kicked out. "Except she didn't count on an eighteen-wheeler finishing her off," she concludes. "Mack truck ex machina," quips Gil, which makes absolutely no sense at all as anything but a meta-comment on this episode's tortured internal logic. Catherine finds a claim check from the valet at the PAFcon hotel, and they both decide to talk to the guy.
But first, more B-plot! Nick wasn't able to ID the car they're looking for (because we all know that Vegas is just inundated with bright blue 1984 Monte Carlos), but he did find a lead on the gun-stock adhesive. It's granite glue, which is used by stone masons, and unlike bright blue 1984 Monte Carlos, is surprisingly rare in the greater Clark County metropolitan area. In fact, you can pretty much only find it in quarries. "Okay," says Sara. "I will bet you a double-double animal-style that one of those quarries employs a guy with a blue 1984 Monte Carlo." Um, isn't Sara a vegetarian? And hasn't she learned by now that dinner with co-workers is never a good idea? And for that matter, why haven't I learned to stop asking questions about throwaway plot points that never even get mentioned again?
At the PAFcon hotel, Gil and Catherine are quizzing the valet about Rocky and Linda. The guy actually looks quite a bit like Mike from Las Vegas, so it's a shame Sobell wasn't here to enjoy some of that internal consistency she loves so much. Not Mike fulfills his expositionary responsibilities by informing us that Rocky was "hammered," and that Linda wasn't happy about it. Catherine immediately seizes on this as the cause for her car fight, because Linda interpreted Rocky's nausea as drunkenness (don't forget, he's supposed to be in AA), and just got madder and madder as the wrongfully accused raccoon denied it. We zip into flashback mode and watch the couple fight, although it's never made clear why Rocky is in costume and Linda isn't. ["I'm betting it's tough to drive in those rigs." -- Sars] Much to my dismay, she also never tells him to have another drink, which really would have helped me sell that whole "'Have Another' Sherri Lewis" nickname thing. Rocky begs to be let out of the car so he can puke, and Linda is more than happy to oblige. What Gil and Catherine can't figure out, however, is how Rocky managed to end up getting shot. "You don't think they allow plushies in the NRA?" wonders Catherine. Instead of pointing out the Pink Pistols like I would have done, Gil instead just makes a quip about grassy knolls and Lee Harvey Oswald. I think my way was better.