CSI
Got Murder?

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Rage On, Diary!

David the All-Seeing Coroner swoops over and whips out the tape recorder, noting, "Case 03-615, postmortem exam of an adult. Caucasian male, identified as Fred Stearns. Body received warm to the touch; rigor mortis not present. Skull, nose, bones intact by palpation. Irides are brown, slightly congested. Unidentified black substance on the front teeth, gingeva and lips." As David says this, we see all the physical signs. David looks at Emergency Backup David and says, "Okay, David, open him up." Emergency Backup David selects his scalpel with care and bends over to make the first incision. After he begins, watery blood wells up, and Emergency Backup David -- whose nerves are probably still shot from withstanding Grissom's glowering -- shakily calls out, "Dr. Robbins. I-I have blood. Sir, I have bleeding." The two men exchange a panicky look -- I get the sense that at this point in their careers, caring for live people unnerves them badly -- and then they swing into action. David the All-Seeing Coroner immediately applies direct pressure to the incision while Emergency Backup David gets his kit. Emergency Backup David then takes over on applying direct pressure while David the All-Seeing Coroner injects a syringe of adrenalin into Stearns's heart. The TMICam spares us no detail. As Stearns's pulse rate rises, Emergency Backup David threads a suture needle for David the elder, and they prepare to sew Stearns back up before calling the EMTs and demanding to know which genius called that one before wheeling the body down to the morgue. If you ask me, this has "Hank" written all over it.

Meanwhile, out at Mount Trashmore, everyone searches the trash in time-lapse photography while the dance music plays. After a prolonged sequence, Catherine finds a severed human leg. Nick comments that it's obviously female -- let's let the DNA be the judge of that, Mr. They Have No Drag Queens In Texas -- and they all make noises as if to indicate that the gam is gamy. Sara's moving trash near the leg, and sure enough, she finds a torso and head. There's no eye. We hear the black bird caw and see, once again, the moment of eyeball plucking. Sara coughs again, because she too thinks the shot was gratuitously gory. Catherine and Nicky estimate the temperature of the trash pile -- think 120 degrees Fahrenheit (thank you, physics, for the heat generated in many chemical reactions!) -- and Catherine comments on the relatively good condition of the body relative to the heat. "She should be totally bloated," Sara comments. Nah -- the producers are saving that for sweeps. Nicky comments on how torn up the body is, and Sara casts a look back over her shoulder, commenting that bulldozers are vicious. Then we get to see how vicious in a shot of the body crumpling under the trash. Catherine adds, "I think they only finished the job. How did she get here?" Catherine might want to check to see which homeowner's association decreed that Wednesday was corpse recycling day, and go from there.

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