It's raining in Las Vegas. Chris Isaak, or someone with his coiffure, is out for a drive. As plaintive country music wails -- something about a lonesome highway drive -- our intrepid motorist keeps winding along those twisty rural roads. Yes, you read that right: the twisty, rural roads outside Las Vegas. I don't question it anymore. So far as I am concerned, Las Vegas is a magical place with enchanted forests and bubbling brooks. Anyway, the driver notices a man garbed in a hooded black raincoat and holding a sign that reads, "Vegas." Naturally, he pulls over, because who wouldn't pick up a hitchhiker who takes his sartorial cues from the villain in I Know What You Did Last Summer? He asks the hitchhiker if he needs a lift; the vagrant silently gets in. Clueless McVictim asks, "So where are you headed?" The hooded visage turns and Paul Millander peers out, saying ominously, "It's not where I'm headed..."
Cut to the aforementioned babbling brook. We're literally two camera shots away from woodland creatures singing catchy tunes about forensics. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's off to dust we go! The evidence rests in the prints, hi-ho, hi-ho. And now, back to the recap before Disney dispatches a squadron of attack lawyers -- Catherine and Gil get out of a car and walk toward what I presume is a crime scene. A trench-coated official greets them with, "Welcome to Good Springs." "Long drive," Catherine says wearily. I bet Gil made her listen to Maggots, Murder, and Men: Memories and Reflections of a Forensic Entomologist on tape, as narrated by Crispin Glover, on the drive down. Trenchcoat says apologetically, "I know it's out of your jurisdiction, but it is your name on the tape." Uh-oh. We establish that the victim is inside, the recorder on the edge of the tub; Trenchcoat hands over the victim's wallet to Gil. He palms it and follows Catherine inside. Catherine takes the wallet and identifies Clueless McVictim as Pete Walker, lately of California, born August 17, 1957. Catherine then provides backstory for all of you who began watching this show in Season 2: "That's got to be the work of Paul Millander." We see Walker in a tub, shot in the sternum, with a small hand-held tape recorder propped on the tub's rim. Catherine continues expositing for those of us who haven't been playing along at home: "The M.O.'s the same. Kills men with the same birthday as the anniversary of his father's murder." Gil swings in for the harmony: "In descending order. First victim was August 17, 1959. Second victim, August 17, 1958. 1957..." He trails off, and the dynamic duo exchanges a meaningful look. Catherine picks up the tape recorder and asks, "Ready for this?" Gil says, "I have a pretty good idea what it's going to say." Catherine presses play, and we hear, "My name is Pete Walker. I reside at 715 Lady del Sol and I'm 44 years of age. I'm going to kill myself. I'd like to say 'I love you' to my mother. I'm so sorry. I never wanted to put you through this. I just can't do it anymore..." Walker's voice trails off, and we hear a gunshot. Catherine starts. After a moment of silence, Millander says menacingly, "Happy birthday, Mr. Grissom." Gil looks less than festive. Catherine looks up -- and here, with the bangs pulled off her face and the mega-eyeliner, she's like the crime-fighting version of Margot Tenenbaum -- and breathes, "Isn't your birthday in August?" Gil replies, "August 17, 1956." Catherine gapes as Roger Daltrey comes in with Pete and John to sing a special version of "Happy Birthday." Or, as classic rock fans know it, "Who Are You?"