CSI
King Baby

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Sobell: F | Grade It Now!
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No shit!

Speaking of people on motherquests, deliberate or otherwise, Nicky's looking at a toy chest he brought back from the nursery to the lab and explaining to Sara that it looked like the one in the store, except the one in the store was twice as deep. "Well, he did like his secret spaces," Sara says of the dead, and the two of them peel off the front of the box to discover that indeed, it had a false bottom, and contained within the secret compartment are dozens of files. Among the subjects of the files: Sy Magli, Sam Braun, and Rory Atwater. I believe we're all familiar with the last one as Sheriff Xander Berkeley. I wonder what's in his file -- he sold drugs to Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungeon? Nicky says the rest of the files include "gaming commissioners, judges, pro athletes..." and one unlabeled photo of a baby standing in a crib, drinking a bottle. The date on the photo's 12-20-01.

But why worry about a mystery baby when you can page through Sy's file instead? Evidently, he was a man who had varied tastes; in one shot, he's seen looking at a teenaged girl and wooing her with his patented "Uh, right..."

Meanwhile, Warrick and Grasshopper, Adopted Son Number Three are busy babbling about the security system to each other. Although this episode has featured a lot of snappy exchanges, this is not one of them, and it will never be confused with a boozy afternoon conversation at the Algonquin. So here's the relevant stuff: Donna's alibi, sadly, holds up; all of you who were entertaining women-in-prison scenarios in which she featured prominently are going to have to rely on your imagination for the details. In the three hours between Donna's departure and her return, Bruce took a header, the milkmaid left four minutes later, and twenty minutes after that, Donna returned. Grasshopper, Adopted Son Number Three, asks the entirely pertinent question, "[Donna] didn't make her call to 911 until 11:42. What was she doing for over an hour?"

We won't find out immediately. This is because we have to look at photos of Bruce tartare while Gil muses, "Count Basie said that it's the notes you don't hear that matter." You'd be in a position to judge whether or not that's true, o intermittently deaf one. Catherine points out two clean wedges of concrete amid the blood and says, "Two voids -- one pointing towards eleven o'clock and one towards o'clock." "Something blocked the [blood] spray," Gil concludes. Catherine thinks it's two somethings -- the discarded shoes. "Could [the shoe spaces] be explained by her rendering aid?" Gil asks carefully. Catherine thinks not -- "I think he was still alive, expirating blood. I wonder what was going through her mind as she stood there, watching him die." "I wonder what was going through his?" Gil asks. My guess? Blood.

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CSI

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