Whenever I'm facing a looming deadline, a long night, or a long night caused by a looming deadline, I sometimes decide to psych myself into working by tackling the project in the middle and working toward the end, working from the back to the front, or generally mixing it up so that when I do return to the beginning of something -- a book, a project outline, an article -- and commence working linearly, I run across my already completed segments and am heartened by how much I've done already.
I'm telling you this deeply personal anecdote because...well, because I tried to recap this episode that way, and while the results were entertaining in the same way a Choose Your Own Adventure book was, it really didn't make a whole lot of sense to start off with something like this:
So Liam's standing in the lab, looking as though he deeply regrets wearing the skivvies he accidentally shrunk in the wash, when Gil comes in. Liam tells him they're nailed the guy thanks to his DNA.
Sadly, the recap is a long-form epic that doesn't lend itself well to nonlinear interval work. Fortunately for you, I figured that out before subjecting you to seventeen pages of experimentation.
And with that, I've managed to write an introduction that completely avoided mention of the Las Vegas skyline, thus overcoming a challenge that has begun to tax me since I've had to find a way to describe that scene some fifty-odd times in a thirty-month period. Instead, I can just skip to the part where two ATVs are whizzing through the verdant Vegas valleys, ripping up grassy swards and leaving tire tracks in the rich, black mud that we all associate with Nevada. The two riders -- who are dressed in color-coordinated suits like the Power Rangers -- engage in the kind of vehicular hijinks that so often end with someone exhorting us, the viewers at home, to Do The Dew. Then the rider dressed in blue does the Dew outtake -- i.e. flipping their vehicle and taking a dive into the dirt, knocking over a conveniently-placed barrel that veteran CSI watchers are already eyeballing in chortling expectation.
The red-suited rider rips off the helmet, and a lot of blonde hair cascades down as she screams, "Billy!" She runs over and helps the other rider to doff their helmet, and we see more blonde hair as it's revealed that Billy is a Billie and the last minute has been devoted to hot girl-on-girl motocross action. The two girls gape at the barrel which tripped Billie up, and we see the hazardous waste sticker on the side, along with the skull and crossbones.